The Hateful Heavy Heart | 18+

02 - Small Packages

Work was something special. It smelled of antiseptic wipes, isopropyl alcohol, and rubber gloves. Depending on which wing of the facility one was in, they might get a whiff of shit or piss. But it was worth it.

The place was cute and as homely as it could be. The walls were painted in soft pastel colors and adorned by framed floral paintings. Everyone in there was old enough to be my great grandparents, but I loved them as if they were my great grandparents. Especially Cleo.

"Be nicer to the poor woman," Cleo scolded me. She then let out an alarmingly winded laugh, a grin stretching across her face. "She just wishes she had the stamina like you to take so many men." 

I grimaced at the words leaving her mouth and rolled my eyes. I picked up her bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and handed it to her so that she could eat breakfast. I always recommended for her to eat something with more nutritional benefits, but Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Froot Loops were Cleo's favorite. Only on Fridays did she like to eat a full breakfast, such as pancakes, bacon, and eggs. "Mhm. I think she just wishes I cared more."

Cleo eyed me for a few moments. "You do care. If you didn't, you wouldn't still be thinking about what she said to you, Jace."

I groaned and put my hands over my face. I could hear the crunching of Cleo's cereal. I let out a sigh before putting my calm composure back together. "Cleo, I care that I made her cry. I don't care that she's upset I sleep around."

"All right, doll. If you don't care, it doesn't matter who else does. Remember that." With those words, she returned to enjoyed her bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

❁

I hadn't been to the bar since I moved out of the apartment I used to share with Garret a year ago. It wasn't convenient anymore for me to drive there every week. It was simply too much gas money. I also found that I saved more money when I didn't buy a drink every week. However, one Monday night wouldn't hurt.

I missed the staff of the bar. I missed the environment. I missed the familiarity. My visits had been the only constant thing in my life besides working at the retirement home since I broke up with Garret and since I stopped sleeping around so often. That was another reason why I felt little remorse for insulting my mother. I wasn't even that much of a whore anymore, not that there was anything wrong with the fact that I fucked more than one person in a month.

As I walked into the bar and the sweet aroma of it filled the atmosphere, I already felt more at ease. Something was comforting about being in such a nostalgic place. This used to be the pot of gold for my lucky memories. I'd pick them all up here and then create rainbows with them in their beds.

Yet I had never fucked an Irish man. I'd add that to my bucket list.

I took a seat at one of the bar stools and smiled at the bartender once I recognized who he was. "You're back?" he asked. "It's been a while, brzydalu."

Konrad had been calling me 'ugly one' since the day that he had first served me because he said I was grossly cute. He was very cute himself. He was very Polish, had a bit of stubble along his jaw, a pair of nice, green eyes, dark brown hair. His nose was kind of crooked, but I was pretty sure it was that way because he had his nose broken before.

I would have flirted with him and maybe tried to get a roll in the hay with him if he didn't go on and on about the ex-girlfriend that left him for his stepbrother. I knew all about Agueda Rodriguez, her perky tits, and how her hips moved when she did the bachata, probably more than she knew about herself.

But it had been an entire year and then some. Perhaps he'd finally let her go. Then again it might be hard for me to let go of my ex if I saw him at every family function.