lifeline ⇾ kai parker

32┃light in the dark

CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

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THE CONFINES OF MILA'S childhood bedroom once again acted like a sanctuary to them tonight. Her parents were already asleep by the time they had gotten home, but they didn't linger downstairs. Mila had slipped into the bathroom to wash away the proof of a messy night that entailed struggle and bloodshed. Kai waited for her to get done in the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Only her bedside lamp was turned on, and its crooked lampshade seemed to put a yellow spotlight on him. He had stripped his shirt and pants off in preparation for bed but didn't bother crawling under the covers. Tonight he hadn't failed, but he couldn't help be reminded of every other time he had. Every time he had let her down.

It's a suffocating feeling, the one that comes when you realize you have neglected the person who has always been there for you. He didn't see before; maybe he didn't want to see it. It was easier pretending like she was putting time towards a lost cause, that it was her fault for believing in a hoax of a person. But the truth is, Mila had been a savior to him whether he knew he needed it or not. And when you compare everything she's done for him to what he's done for her, it's not even a competition. At least, that's what he perceived.

Mila enters the room with damp hair and one of Kai's shirts draping down her body. She closes the door quietly behind her, fingers parting from the knob right when her bare feet began padding across the carpet.

She went to Kai's slumped form immediately. A hand was rubbing at his temples. His eyebrows were weighed down enough to touch his closed eyelids. He looked exhausted himself, and Mila assumed it was because of the rough day they had.

She pulls at his arm, gaining his attention, and slips into his lap. He embraces her without thought, one palm splayed over her thigh and the other pressing against the small of her back. Kai peers up at her with what he thought were carefree eyes, but Mila saw the hollowness to his gaze.

"Are you okay?" Mila whispers. He watches the subtle movement of her lips as she asks the question. It's a detail that makes him grounded to the world again.

"I'm just glad you're okay." His mouth twitches, almost smiling. "I was desperate to get you back. If it wasn't obvious by the team I assembled. Actually, I didn't assemble it. They kinda just barged in and wouldn't leave me alone. Followed me around like lost puppies. But we found out where you were at. I guess if we would have arrived sooner I would have seen you kick zombie ass."

She laughs lightly at his retelling of events, knowing working with both Lizzie and Alex wasn't something he ever had in mind. Nails gently scratch at the nape of his neck while she starts to play with his hair. Mila can feel him relax from underneath her.

Kai sighs, collapsing back on the mattress, and he brings Mila with him. She's straddling him, looking down at him with a gentleness that coincides with her lingering touches. Her fingertips trail his collarbone before venturing down his sternum.

"Tell me, does it get tiring saving the day? I mean, here I was ready to be the hero and save you for once — to slay the dragon and everything — and there you go saving yourself." Kai shakes his head in wonder but his eyes showcase something relating to sorrow.

"I rarely save the day," she disagrees.

"But you always save me," Kai is quick to restort. He brings a hand to her face, and she finally understands what's ingrained in every handsome feature on his: unworthiness. "You save me and I never save you."