Another

Chapter 21: Home

The low crunch of snow under my heel echoed through the barren trees. It was quiet, save for my uneven stride across the thick white blanket. The cold air was still, and the winter birds silent. Occasionally, my feet would snag on some hidden branch, but other than that, my little stroll across the forest floor was uneventful, and lonesome.

I pulled my haori closer around me, craving whatever warmth it could offer me. Distantly, I could hear the slight treble of the river, where my siblings and I had often splashed away while okaa-san watched from a distance. We were so young, and so unsuspecting of the future coming for us once we all grew older. Our happy times together cut short and murdered, onii-san and I would have no choice but to grow up too soon. We would have no choice but to live, with the memories of our once happy lives weighing us down.

To think, I really thought we'd be together forever. All of us. Alive.

I screamed, the forest shrieking back at me. I cried. I ran my fingers through my hair and clawed at my chest, feeling my heart claw back with deep cuts of grief. Sadness. Anger. Hate, oh so much hate. Hate for myself. Hate for the life of struggle. Hate for my incompetence. Hate of Life. Of Death. Of Love and Loss. Of my survival. Hate for the smile onii-san always wore. I hated everything. "Why? Why did this happen to us? Why couldn't it have been to someone else? Anyone else? Why?"

"Kibutsuji Muzan."

I froze, only seeing snow. I was kneeling, kowtowing at the feet of the sleeping trees, as if it could solve all my problems if I only asked hard enough. I stayed still, waiting. Waiting to see if it was actually him. Waiting to see if this was just another forgotten memory.

So, I listened. I listened for the screams of my loved ones dying before me. I listened for the splatter of blood spraying across the walls of my family home. I listened for the whisper of my family's dying words on their lips. I listened, but I heard nothing. Nothing at all, except for the slight crunch of snow that moved closer to me from behind.

I allowed myself to relax my grip upon myself, and to somewhat straighten up. My eyes followed the bark of the tree's roots up to the branches reaching for the branches of the others close to it.

"Nezuko?"

I stayed still, willing myself to stay quiet. Don't make a sound. Not a single sound. Don't move. What if it's not him? What if it's not him? What will you do if you turn around and he's not there? What if you turn around and he is there? What will you do? Will you beg for forgiveness? Will you jump into his arms, relieved that at least he was somewhat spared? What will you do? What?

"Nezuko."

I could hear it. The smile in his words, I could hear it. Why? Why is it always you who has to shoulder everything? It's always you. Why aren't you allowed to be sad too? We've lost everything, you and I. Why is it that you have to be the strong one for both of us?

I choked, sobs beginning to erupt. No. No no no no don't make a sound. Don't do that. Anything but that. Please please, I silently pleaded to the tree, don't cry. Please don't cry. You can't cry. You can't be weak, not now. Especially not now.

I could feel myself shaking. I couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from my tears. Either way, he was quiet, not making a single sound. Maybe, he wasn't there, after all.

I took deep breaths, urging myself to calm down. After what felt like forever, I managed to suppress the traitorous sobs well enough. I gathered up what little dignity I had, and forced myself to look to my older brother.

He was standing on his feet, hands gripping his sides tightly as if it were the only thing holding him together.The Hanafuda earrings oto-san passed down to him were swaying side to side, even though the wind was as still as the fallen snow around us.

I stared at him, at the light glistening off his cheeks. Although he was silent, his tears fell easily down. He was crying, something I've never seen my older brother do in all my life.

"Nezuko." He did his best to wipe his tears away. They still fell down anyway, one after the other. "I'm sorry," was all he could whisper.

Sorry? Sorry for what? For being alive? For not leaving me alone? What could he possibly have to be sorry for? If anything, I was the one at fault here. I was the one who ran. The one who left, when I was needed most. I was guilty, the blood that vermin spilled had fallen on my hands, and mine alone.

"Onii-san." I croaked. He did not show the slightest sign of acknowledgement, tears clouding his eyes. I forced myself to my feet, ignoring the bitter strike of my blood returning. His tears slowed with my movement, hands hastily swiping them away. I wiped whatever remnants that were left from my own cries away as well, before swiftly erasing the cold distance between us.

My brother was taller than I, so I did my best to comfort him without smothering him. Eventually, his tears no longer fell and we just clasped each other wordlessly. Occasionally, a hiccup or sniffle would break the air, but, other than that, it was quiet.

The snow began to fall once more, flowing lazily down to the cold ocean of the skies frozen tears collecting at our feet-each snowflake alone yet somehow strangely together. My brother pressed a gentle kiss to my head and pulled back, eyes red. I waited for him to speak first, more than willing to listen to him and whatever he had to say.

My brother patted my head, something he's always done to comfort those he loved. "Nezuko?" he said, questioningly. His eyes shone, the light turning them into rubies.

I nodded. He smiled, fangs catching the setting sun. He took my hand in his, careful to keep the talons from grazing our skin, and pulled me to the sounds of the river.

"Let's go home."