Passionate Exchange

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Senior year, the last year of high school. This is supposedly the best year of your entire life where you will become who you are meant to be and make friends that will stay by your side forever. My journey as a senior started with AP calculus so I wasn't sure that what I've been told was true. Starting the 'highlight of my life with the worse lesson in the whole of history didn't sound like a very good start to me.

Only, my first impression was completely wrong. This year has been one I'll cherish for many years to come.

It's taught me a lot of lessons that I didn't know I needed to learn. Before, I didn't have any real friends. I had acquaintances but they never cared about me enough to message and check up on me. Now, I'm not considered popular by any means, but I have two people who I'm proud to call my friends.

Brody and Penny. We've had our ups and our downs, as all friends do, but we've got through all of them. I can already tell that I'm going to spend many nights talking to them about anything and everything from halfway across the world. The time difference will be incredibly frustrating, but we'll manage. I know we'll spend as much time together as possible in my last couple of weeks here.

This year has also taught me what love is. I was always one of those kids that believed in fairy-tale endings. I believed that the first boy you lock lips with would be the boy you married. I was naive but hopeful. Now I know that was far from the truth.

Although I'm not going to have the happy ending that I've always wanted with Archer, I don't regret anything. He made me realise that I should be more confident in my own skin and not let people walk over me all the time. Every time I stand up for myself now, I'll think back to him whispering into my ear 'such a badass' and smile.

Does that mean that I don't still have feelings for him? Definitely not. As much as I wanted them to disappear into oblivion they didn't. My heart still pounds out of my chest when we pass each other. But I've learnt to deal with my urges. I can finally talk to him without becoming a blubbering mess. I think.

When people tell you that your senior year will be the year you grow the most they aren't lying. I've grown a lot over the past year and I'm grateful I have. I'm stronger than ever. I got through many weeks of hardcore studying for finals and crying in my bed from stress. If that doesn't make me strong, I don't know what does.

Now, Penny has decided to throw a party. She told me it was a going-away party but it's suspicious that it's on the day we finish high school. She also told me that it'll only be a few people, but I find that suspicious too. When she says a few people, she means the entire school. I think her parents only allowed her to throw it because it was our last day today.

I walk down the stairs with a bounce in my step and a smile on my face. I have a feeling today's going to be a good day.

"You!" Penny exclaims. She rushes over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. I barely have time to react before she's swivelling me around, leaving me staring confusedly at the wall. "Are you crazy? You can't see this yet."

That's right. I "forgot" she was hiding something from me. "What am I supposed to do until then, camp out in my room?" I laugh.

She doesn't understand the joke, instead, pushing me up the stairs. I grab the bannister when I nearly trip over the step to steady myself. "Yes," she states, deadly serious, "go make yourself look pretty. This is your party after all."

I don't get to respond before she winks and slams the door in my face. I hover there for a few moments. Did she really just wink at me? I roll my eyes, throwing myself onto my bed.

Maybe I should make myself look pretty. It would be rude to go to my own party without trying, right? It's been a long time since I've picked up an eyeshadow brush or wore a dress. I'm not sure I even remember how to do my makeup.

Before I do that, I creep across my room, opening my door as slowly as I can. Peaking my head down the stairs, I cautiously search for what she's trying to hide. I slap a hand against my face when she comes into view. I should have known that wouldn't work.

"What are you doing?" She asks sternly. Her arms are folded against her chest. I feel like a child who's being scolded for getting into the cookie jar.

"Relax, I'm going to the bathroom." I lie and duck out of her view. Once I'm sure that she's gone back to doing whatever she was doing before she caught me, I start spying again.

"Crap." I curse, cringing inwardly at myself. That's the second time I've been caught. How is she so good at this? I plaster a fake smile on my face. "What are you doing there?"

"Madison." Her eyes narrow.

I hold my hands up in surrender with a chuckle. "I'm sorry," I drag out, "it's just so tempting."

"Do I need to come up there and nail your door shut?"

I throw my head back in laughter but stop once I don't hear the sound of her laughter too. I clear my throat awkwardly, trying to make it seem like I wasn't laughing. I assumed she was joking but by the serious look on her face, I don't think she was.

"Um, no. You don't need to do that."

I walk away with my tail in between my legs and hop into the shower. It doesn't take long for the thought of Archer to come into my head. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about him. I keep telling myself that I'm only doing it because I see him so often, but I know that's not the case.

When I go back to London, I'll forget all about the feelings that I have for him and move on with my life...well that's what I keep telling myself anyway. I've heard that if you tell yourself something enough it will come true. Part of me hopes it will.

I actually spoke to Penny about my feelings for him. I know, shocking, right? The guilt was eating away at me still and I knew I had to be honest. I couldn't have a repeat of what happened last time I hid something from her.

To my surprise, she was fine with it. Her words exactly were 'whatever happens we'll still be friends. I don't know what I was expecting but that wasn't it. I insisted that nothing would happen though. Just because I have these feelings doesn't mean I'm going to act on them. It was true, that was what I thought. Until now.

I come out of the bathroom dressed in comfy clothes that I grabbed off of my floor. My hair's still dripping down my back as I couldn't be bothered to wrap it in a towel. I stumble back when I notice Archer standing in front of me with his hands behind his back.

I look around awkwardly and then back to him with furrowed eyebrows. "Can I help you?" My voice comes out chalky causing me to clear my throat.

It feels weird asking him something so casual after so long. It's as if nothing ever happened. We haven't spoken much since that day and I was happy about that. It meant that I didn't have any temptations to take back what I said. If he stayed out of my way, I could ignore my feelings long enough for them to go away.

His eyes run along my body. I hate that my body still responds to his gaze. My throat dries instantly and my heart races. I wipe my palms against my joggers, starting to feel awkward standing here looking a mess while he looks as great as ever. No. I take that back, he doesn't look great. Or at least I shouldn't think he does.

He shakes his head to get his attention back onto what he needs to say. "Please, can you hear me out? I've been wanting to say this for a while, but I haven't been able to." He begs.

My heart's telling me to listen to him, but my head's telling me to run into my room and lock the door behind me. Having him talking to me, really talking to me, is strange. It feels so natural which frustrates me.

"Okay." I give in. I guess my heart wins this time.

"I got you a going-away gift." He says and I can't hide my surprise. We haven't spoken in months and now he's giving me a gift as if we're friends. What's going on