It's been four days since the party and I still haven't been able to face Archer. I keep replaying our conversation over and over again in my head, especially the part where he admitted that he wanted to kiss me! My cheeks stain red just thinking about it.
I can't comprehend that he, the boy who everybody secretly wants at school, wanted to kiss me. It doesn't feel real. For that reason, I can't bring myself to talk to him. It can't be real. Maybe he's tricking me, convincing me that it's real, only to throw me to the side like a piece of garbage when he's bored.
My hypothesis has been looking more and more accurate as the days go by. He hasn't tried to talk to me. It's disappointing but It's not like I didn't expect it. He could never see me as anything more than Penny's friend.
I push the thought of Archer to the back of my mind and step into the flower shop. The bell above the door rings as I call Melissa's name. The welcoming scent of flowers makes me smile. "I'm in the back," she doesn't sound as enthusiastic as she usually does which causes my smile to falter.
I do as she says. Her hands are cupped around a wilted rose, its colour draining from its petals. She's looking at it with concern etched on her face. I move to her side. "This was a gift from a young lady who used our flowers at her wedding." She explains, not once taking her eyes off the rose barely clinging onto life.
"She was so happy with how her big day turned out. She came into the shop a week later and brought this," she caresses one of the petals softly, "as a thank you. I know they don't last forever but it's still sad to see them like this." She pouts. It's easy to see the passion that she has for her job.
I find myself deep in thought, staring at the rose as she is. Not everything lasts forever, even something as beautiful and angelic as a rose. But one of the things that do last is memories. They stay with you for a very long time. They're even passed down to family and friends. People always tell you to 'live life to the fullest' and 'do what makes you happy because that's all that matters in the end'. I never really paid attention to their words. Did anyone?
"Is there something on your mind?"
I open my mouth to answer but close it seconds later. I was tempted to say no but that's not true. There's a lot on my mind but where do I start? I haven't told anyone about what happened on Friday night. Melissa's the only person I can tell who I know is unbiased and won't judge me.
"Shouldn't we open the shop?" I tilt my head slightly, playing with the hem of my shirt.
"No one comes in during the first ten minutes of opening, it can wait."
Seeing no way out of this, I prepare myself to say the words aloud. Saying them means confirming that it actually happened, and it wasn't just a figment of my imagination. My heart races in my chest at the thought but I swallow down the nerves.
Our eyes connect and I release a breath. "There's this boy." I start.
She perks up immediately, her eyes widening with hunger, hunger for what I'm about to tell her. She starts walking over to the left before beckoning me to follow her. I do as she says. "It sounds like we should sit down for this."
I nod despite her not being able to see and continue once we take a seat at an oak table. There's a glass vase full of fresh sunflowers in the middle. I have to slide my chair to the side slightly to avoid them blocking my vision.
"Well, I'm here as an exchange student which you already know," she nods her head in understanding, my nerves grow as the seconds' pass, "and I'm living with this boy-" She cuts me off.
"Does this boy have a name?" Eagerness dances in her eyes. She rests her head on her hand as they pour into mine.
I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear and ignore the way my heart flutters when I say his name. "yeah, Archer." She wiggles her eyebrows causing me to stifle a laugh, continuing with a roll of my eyes. "I went to a party on Friday, and he did something..." I pause.
I can't say the words. It's like they're stuck on the tip of my tongue. The more I try to say them the more they become lodged in my throat. I wipe my sweaty palms against my jeans and chew on my cheek.
"He kissed you," she says the words for me.
My eyes widen and my eyebrows raise, wondering how she possibly could have guessed that. "The look on your face gave it away." Can this woman read minds? How can she possibly work out everything about me when I don't know the answers myself?
I'm suddenly aware of my burning face and my heart beating out of my chest. All I have to do is think about it and I'm acting as a celebrity has asked me on a date or something unrealistic like that. I'm stupid.
"Don't worry," she squeezes my hand in an attempt to comfort me. "They never mean anything. Men are confusing, trust me, I know. They do one thing and say another. My advice to you is to forget about it and save yourself the heartache."
My heart sinks, her words inflicting the ache she wanted me to avoid. My gaze falls to my lap as I wring my hands together. Melissa leans closer towards me, noticing my disappointment. "Unless you want it to mean something."
"I don't know what I want." I rub my hands down my face and groan inwardly.
She giggles, a tight-lipped smile making its way onto her face. "You remind me of an awful lot of me when I was your age."
"Please tell me what you would have done in my situation," I beg with despair.
Her hands are still on mine and I don't move them. Everything about her is comforting to me. Her voice, her touch, her scent, her face, everything. It's like she was solely put on this Earth to be my personal Nutella. Nutella does wonders to make you feel better.
"I wish I had someone to give me this advice, but I had to figure it out for myself. I made some choices that I regret, and I hope that you don't make the same ones." The seriousness in her eyes fills me with worry. "Do what you want. Not what you think others want you to do or what you should do, do what you want." She finishes.
I know what Penny would want. She would want me to stay the hell away from him. She warned me on the first day I came here that he isn't someone I should be spending my time with. She told me to stay out of his way and he won't bother me. But what if I want him to bother me?
"So, what do you want?" She asks as if it's that simple.
I know what the right thing to do is. The right thing to do would be to forget about what happened with Archer and focus on my studies. I only have a limited amount of time here. It's not like something between us could last when I have to go back to London in less than a year.
Do what you want. Her words ring in my head. It doesn't take long for me to lose all common sense. I forget about what I should do and do exactly what she advised. "All I know is that I want to be around him."
She squeals, her eyes lighting up as she claps her hands excitedly. "Well, there's your answer! Tell him how you feel. You're a beautiful girl. He would be an idiot not to want to the same thing." My smile grows. "But tell him after you've finished your shift."
We both laugh like we have no worries in the world because, at that moment, we don't. It's just us, our laughter, and a ton of flowers. This shop makes everything seem perfect.
"Thank you." I express my gratification.
"Of course, honey. I might be going grey but I'm still young at heart."
YOU ARE READING
Passionate Exchange
أدب المراهقينMadison is a reserved girl with a comfortable yet uneventful life back home. She has good grades, a loving sister, and a father who's intent on her living her life to the fullest. But as soon as she arrives in Portland, thousands of miles away from...