My Garden of Hopeful Thoughts

SUrprIse ShaWty

Everything is back
I can feel it

There's no hole in my chest anymore
And theres no emptiness when I say how I feel anymore

There's just a dull ache in my heart
For relationships that could've been
But won't ever be now

There are tears on this stupid hoodie that isn't even mine
And little droplets of them in my hair

My face is red and puffy
And everytime I look myself in the mirror to say "I'm okay"
All I can do is sob

This isn't even because of her
Or you
Or Amber

This is just because of me
Because I fall too quickly
And love too hard

And they just leave
They always leave

And I know, I know
Someday, there'll be a person who won't

But I really dont want to wait that long
I dont want to feel that again
I dont want to love hard again and fall fast

But I dont know how to stop myself
And I'll go through countless heartbreaks until I find my right person

And I wont ever learn

(P.S. this was supposed to be funny. Uh lo siento. My feelings really said "surprise shawty" and now they won't leave me alone.)