New Beginnings

Chapter 21

Philippa's P.O.V
"Harry what is it?" Harry say next to me in the kitchen. He looked scared.

"I don't even know how to say this Philippa."

"Say what, Harry just tell me." God what is it. Paul is just sat there waiting.

"I've been getting threats." Why the fuck hasn't he told me this.

"What do you mean threats? From who?" He just looks at me. Reality hit me hard.

"No he can't do this no."

"Philippa I didn't want to worry you. When I got the first phone call I genuinely thought it was a weird fan. I didn't realise it was him. Until Manchester, I didn't know it was him. I didn't know what to say. I knew it was going to worry you and I didn't want to make you feel worse. I am so sorry." Oh my god no this can't be happening no I won't let this happen to him.

"He threatened you? Why would he do that?"

"Philippa, I'm just going to be blunt. Harry is getting threats because you are with him. We need to decide what is happening when Harry is on tour." Paul always seems to get straight to the point.

"Well what can we do? Whatever happens I seem to bring problems." I feel like I'm going to panic. No I can't and won't let myself go through this again no.

"Baby there is the option of you coming with us, so then we can make sure your ok. The other option is you stay here and we have security in place so he can't turn up whilst I am away. Then the third option is that you stay with family, maybe your auntie dee or your mum." I know what I want to do and it's none of them.

"He'll find me he always does. I can't go on tour with you guys, I will bring the trouble with me and I can't put you and the band in danger i cant."

"Philippa what else can we do. There is no other option to keep you and Harry safe."

"Just let me leave and you won't have to worry about him coming after Harry. You said it yourself he is threatening Harry because he is with me. So why not just let me live on my own." They just look at me like I'm an idiot.

"No! I will not let you do that. Philippa I am not leaving this flat for tour knowing you will be on your own. No I won't, he will come for you again and I won't ever live with myself if he hurt you again."

"He will try anyway and I don't want to put you in harm." I can't cope with this anymore. I need to leave, I need to get away from everything. But I can't people know me. I would be found easily, I can't keep putting the people I love and care about in danger. Because of one stupid mistake I made.

"And then what he'll just hurt you." Harry just looks so lost and hurt. I can't keep doing this to him.

"I can't believe due to one stupid mistake I'm in this situation.

"What do you mean a stupid mistake? What happened?"

"Tom started doing this to me because I was drunk one night with Mollie and a couple of girls from college and I kissed someone. It was a total accident like I didn't mean for it to happen. The girls kept giving me drinks and I just though the lad was Tom. He found and he beat the shit out of me. I had to lie to my mum about the bruises. I had to tell her that I was drunk and I just kept falling over when I got home." God I am so stupid why did I ever do that. The tears stream down my face at your the image in my head of the state I looked like once he had finished beating me.

"Philippa how old were you?" Paul looks worried. Why is he so worried.

"Erm 18." Harry just looks at me horrified. I need some air I feel like someone is sitting on my chest.

I try to stand up but Harry grabs my arm. I shake out of his grip and run. I run like my life depended for it to our bathroom. I need to breath. i new to calm down. I need to talk to Mollie. Opening the door I look out into the room and no one is there. I grab my phone and lock the bathroom door. But it's too late. My breathing is getting worse.

I fall to the floor. No I can't do this again no. Last thing I hear is Harry banging on the door.

HARRY'S P.O.V
Looking at Philippa she doesn't look ok. Her breathing isn't normal. Paul looks as worried as I do.

She stands to leave, grasping her arm. Before I can say anything she has got out of my grip and ran up the stairs.

"Paul what am I going to do?"

"Go calm her down sit with her and take as long as you need. I'm going to talk to management."

Walking up the stairs I can hear Philippa's breathing from outside our room. This is not good, However I know how to help her through a panic attack.

Walking to the bathroom door I try the handle it's locked. Shit! I bang on the door but there is no noise nothing.

"PAUL I NEED YOUR HELP NOW!!" Paul is in our room within seconds.

"I can't hear anything and it's locked."

"Stand back. Philippa if you can hear me move out of the way of the door." But there's nothing. Paul just looks at me and I nod. I need a to make sure she is ok. The door is off its hinges on seconds and there she is lying there lifeless with her phone in her hand. Cradling her head I sit there calmly whispering into her ear. Paul just stands on the threshold of the bathroom waiting for me.

No this cant be happening she hasn't been like this in ages. Come on Philippa, we can get through this. She starts to stir in my arms.

"Hey, it's ok I'm here." She looks at me just all dazed and confused.

"I'm scared" She doesn't say anything else just cries in my arms. What am I going to do. I look up at Paul.

"I think I know what is the best thing to do."

"She is coming with us." Philippa just sits in my embrace and doesn't even protest.

"Right tomorrow we will go into the school and we'll talk to them and say that she needs time off. We won't go into too much detail but say that Philippa won't be back for a while." I just nod my head whilst I try and calm Philippa down.

Philippa's P.O.V

Waking up I look up to see me and in Harry's arms.

"Hey, it's ok I'm here." I am slightly confused then the realisation dawns on me I had a panic attack. Iv'e never had one like this before.

"I'm scared" I just can't do anything right. I can't control my emotions anymore.

"I think I know what is the best thing to do."

"She is coming with us." I can't even begin to protest because I know Harry will be worried about me whilst he was away.

"Right tomorrow we will go into the school and we'll talk to them and say that she needs time off. We won't go into too much detail but say that Philippa won't be back for a while." Harry doesn't say anything. He just nods and looks down at me. I really don't deserve him.

"I want to sleep." Before anyone could say anything I'm being lifted from his arms and carried to our bed. Paul places me down carefully and retreats back.

"Thanks Paul."

"It's ok Harry I'll come for nine tomorrow." Harry doesn't say anything he just nods. Paul leaves the room. Sleep soon takes over me.