The Beautiful Ones

Chapter 4: The breaking point

8 years later.

Although it was winter and the sky was dark and gloomy I loved it that way; the cold wind a promise of coming rain.
I was walking home from school when I heard a pipping noise behind me and I smiled secretly to myself because I knew just who it was.
I kept walking though pretending not to notice; I knew he'd be crazy enough to park in the middle of the street and put me in the car himself if I kept this up for long but I wasn't, I was just gonna play with him a bit.
The pipping got more insistent and yet I didn't turn around, after that I heard the window being lowered as he pulled up next to me, "it's getting old angel." He called out, and my heart skipped a beat at the nickname, I knew it was just a pet name for him but to me it had become to mean so much more, I know right a sixteen year old in love with a twenty two year old is just crazy some might even find it gross, but I couldn't help the way I felt about him, after 8 years of being around him it's hard not to fall for someone like him.
I stopped and turned to face him, his beautiful blue eyes connected with my green ones and he smiles a soul searing smile, my breath faltered but by now I was an expert at hiding my emotions so I smiled back at him and hopped in his escalade, "Hey stranger." I greeted him in a soft low voice, God had I missed him. For the past few months I had been seeing less and less of him and it hurt to not see him for long periods of time. I knew he had his own life and that he was going to university and it was his fourth year but it still hurt, especially when I knew he was at parties or when he was on dates, see what I mean by learning to hide my emotions.
"I could say the same for you, you know , you don't text that often anymore and call even less." He retorted back and all I could do was smile but his words struck home, and it made me feel sad that he could notice everything about me except how I felt about him, I knew my smile came out sad, because he frowned and leaned over cupping my cheek and making me face him,"hey you okay?"
I leaned in and hugged him tight, "yeah I just really missed you, it's been a bit lonely without you around for the past week." I hoped he'd bite and when he hugged me tighter I knew he believed the excuse.
"Missed you too angel."
When a car behind us started pipping angrily we jumped apart laughing and we drove off, while driving me home he told me about his family reunion (that's where he was the past week btw), told me the funny and embarrassing moments and how his grandma was telling him it was time he settle down and start making her great grand kids, I laughed at it because it was a bit funny but inside it also hurt to know that someday he would get married and have kids and it won't be me. Micah started waving his hand in front of my face,I must have zoned out thinking about my pathetic future, "you okay Ems?"
"Yeah just spaced out I guess."
He gave a weird look but before he could speak I noticed that we'd already passed the street to my house. "Micah where are we going? You passed the way to my house!"
"That's because I'm not taking you home, I'm taking you somewhere else."
"Where?!"
"That is a surprise."
He gave me a cheeky grin and I glared back at him, he knew I hated surprises.
The drive was relatively silent, until we arrived at the surprise. "Carmine's bakery." I whispered. The place was an old bakery/cake shop the decor was vintage and classic but it was also homey and cozy, a tear slid down my face when I remembered the first time he brought me here two years ago for my fourteenth birthday, my parents had forgotten about it and Nicky was away visiting a friend when he got snowed in at his friends house and he couldn't fly home, he called and apologized repeatedly, said he loved me and we'd celebrate as soon as he got home. Micah showed up that day told me to get dressed that he's taking me out and he brought me here.
I felt a hand on my cheek and turned to face Micah, he gave me a reassuring smile,"no tears allowed, now come on let's go have some cake." I giggled at his enthusiasm towards cake. We got out of the car and walked into the shop.
We sat in the corner near the window that overlooked the back garden and although the trees were bare and the flowers were dead it looked beautiful like an abandoned mansions forgotten garden.
A waitress came to give us menus and when I looked up at her her eyes were going all over Micah and I fought the urge to get up and break her pretty little neck. Instead I cleared my throat loudly," thank you will call you when we're ready to order." She looked at me and gave me a tight smile that said she wasn't pleased with me intruding on her mentally undressing Micah.
"Roar, why the attitude little kitten?" Micah asked clearly amused, I raised an eyebrow at him but refrained from commenting in fear that I'll say something I'll regret later. Instead I looked over at the menu and decided on a Classic Italian tiramisu. I told Micah I was ready to order and he gestured over for a passing waiter, that God the waitress wasn't anywhere near by. "What would guys like to have today?"
"Tiramisu."
"Tiramisu."
Micah and I spoke simultaneously, we looked at each other an laughed, the waiter gave us a look that said he found it cute. I added a vanilla latte to my order and Micah ordered a mocha. I went back to staring outside the window, I heard Micah sigh before he spoke, "Emmy are you gonna tell me what's wrong or not?"
"I'm fine."
"You're fine? Really. Okay why don't you say that again but look me in the eye when you say it."
He was angry. And that was enough to make me look up at him; I didn't want to upset him anymore.
"Mick I'm okay really, nothing is wrong." Except my heart is breaking because I love you and you don't love me!! I screamed inside my head.
He rubbed his hands over his face, "Em.." He was interrupted when our waiter arrived with out order. We dug in silently. I ate most of my cake but couldn't finish it because it was so rich and creamy, I slid the plate over to Micah knowing that it's one of his favorite cakes and he wouldn't let it go to waste," I can't finish this I will self combust if I eat one more bite." He chuckled at my dramatic act but finished up both plates none the less. The water cleaned up our plates and we were left sipping out coffees in silence, which was nice for me but it seems Micah found it eery and decided to pick up our conversation, "Emily will you please talk to me?! You haven't been yourself for a while now and I don't know if it's me or something happened, just tell me so I can fix it, I'm your friend and I'm just trying to help."
I'm you're friend. Those words sting like a b!tch and I was holding on to all my strength to not let go of the tears, "Micah please stop." My voice shook and I hated myself for that.
"Emily I'm not stupid I know you're about to burst into tears and that something is wrong so just tell me what the f*ck is going on." He whisper yelled through clenched teeth. I gathered my stuff and got up and dropped a ten on the table. "I'll find my own way home."
I ran out before he could stop me I heard him yell for me but I kept going.
I was just stepping out of the parking lot and onto the road when he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him."I have not seen you for a week and in that week you barely text or call me and when I finally see you, you can't even speak one whole sentence to me, and you lie to me about what's wrong and it's making me think that I did something wrong so tell me what the hell is going on so I can bloody fix it."
His anger was so strong that his body was vibrating. And that is when I broke, he had no right to be angry, he was the one hurting me not the other way around.
My fist made contact with his chest over and over again, he was surprised at first but then he tried to hold me down and calm me, "don't f*cking tell me to calm down, don't you dare. This is all because of you, you blind idiot."
Confusion was clear on his face, "what.." But I didn't let him finish I was on a role wit my verbal diarrhea and I couldn't seem to stop myself and before I knew it I got on my tip toes and kissed his lips, it was short and he didn't respond. Shocker(note sarcasm).
I pulled away and looked into his eyes," I love you Micah." I whispered but I didn't wait for a reply I knew I'd get none. So I turned around, pulled up my hood and started walking home.
After I had made it a couple of blocks down it started to pour, but I didn't mind, I loved the rain it was calming for me. But that calmness ended when I heard screeching tires come to a halt behind me. I turned around to see a very angry Micah stepping out of his car, marching towards me, I turned and kept walking but heard him pick up pace behind me and he called to me,"hey! Don't you dare start running! You better come back here and get in the bloody truck or I'll drag you myself! I'm not kidding Emily! EMILY! F*ck please stop."
I felt his arms circle around my arms and pulling to around. I was too tired to fight so I just shrugged him off and made a beeline to the car. I knew struggling wasn't gonna do me any good. He got in after me and started the car.
"Emily."
"Don't. Please if I am truly your friend just don't please."
I felt his eyes on me but the he sighed and turned to the road, driving me home.
The ride was filled with awkward silence and tension, when we pulled up to my house Nicky's car was there which instantly alarmed me and my body stiffened. Nicky never came home early unless there was an emergency. Something is wrong.
"What do you mean?" I jumped at Micah's question, I didn't realize that I had said that out loud.
He must have seen the alarm in my eyes. "Emmy what is it?"
"Nicky is home. Something is wrong." I whispered and without even knowing what I was doing, I pushed out of the car and ran to the house I heard Micah call after me but I didn't care at the moment all I cared about was Nicky.
I burst into the house calling out his name. He didn't answer from the ground floor but I heard noise upstairs so I ran up to his room he wasn't in there but the noise was coming from his bathroom, I ran in there and Nicky was vomiting into the toilet ball, any other day I would have calmed down but when he looked up to see me standing there, faint red marks on his lips;blood, I knew what it was!
I sank to the floor, silent tears running down my face. In the corner of my eye I saw Nicky get up and wash his hands and mouth, after that he came and sat in front of me and held my face in his hands.
I looked up at him with the question in my eyes, I didn't need to ask, that was our thing; no words were needed because our eyes would say it all. He nodded smiling sadly at me, that's when I spoke,"how long?" I whispered so low I feared he didn't hear me and when he answered I really did wish he hadn't heard me,"almost a year now."
The dam broke beyond repair and my sobs wracked my body as I sank into the embrace of my brother. My family. He was the only thing I had in this world.
I can't live without him.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I cried into his chest. He rocked me back and forth one hand on my head and one on my back rubbing gently.
"I couldn't baby girl. I tried but every time you looked at me I saw so much love and affection, you needed me and I needed you to be happy, I couldn't shatter you like that."
I clung to his shirt even more,"Nicky losing you will break me beyond repair. I CANT LOSE YOU. You need to fight please Nicky!"
I screamed and sobbed my words. My lungs hurt and I felt like I was suffocating. It hurt like hell. Like my ribs were being cracked open one by one and my heart was being carved out.
I panicked and started heaving. I didn't know what was happening to me.
"SHIT! Baby girl I need you to listen to my voice okay. Stay with me! Emmy!"
I heard another voice in the room but my burning lungs were too painful for me to concentrate on who was there.
Hands started rubbing circles in my back and someone was whispering in my ear. Two voices. Two calming and soothing voices. Cooing and shushing me. Whispering calming words and sweet nothings. After a while the burning eased a bit and I could make out the voices. Nicky and Micah. I was lying on the floor in Nicky's bathroom. How did i end up here? I was in Nicky's arms.
I looked ahead to find Micah laying in front on me holding my hand and looking at me with worry in his eyes, I looked up and saw Nicky still rubbing circles on my back. He smiled worriedly at me,"hey baby girl." He whispered to me. I was too tired to do anything but smile back. I closed my eyes and felt myself being picked up, we walked to what I guessed was my room and I was laid on my bed. I snuggled into the sheets and the last thing I remembered before falling asleep was two voices whispering and the sound of my bedroom door closing.
I fell into a dreamless slumber.