The Beautiful Ones

Chapter 7: Final goodbyes

I listened or more like pretended to pay attention to the priest as he spoke kind words and prayers for Nicky. But all I could look at wAs the picture of Nick next to his casket. He once said that he would like a closed casket funeral and made me promise to not have his casket open, it had something to do with him wanting people to remember him as he'd been; young, loving, vibrant, and beautiful. He didn't want them to remember him as a corpse, that's why I said my goodbye to him before closing the casket because I had to see him one last time.
When the priest was done he asked me to say a few words about Nicky, and I did, I told everyone how my brother was an amazing human being, he was funny and smart and kind and gentle and caring and all the things you'd wish for in a brother and protector. I told them how he was my everything and how he was always my rock in life. And that I'll miss him, God how much I am going to miss him!
I was sobbing by the end when I told them that Nick's only wish was for them to remember him in all fondness.
Mum was a sobbing mess and dad looked haggard and ready to fall over and neither spoke about their own son
A few of nick's close friends spoke and then at the end Micah got up and told a few funny tales about Nick and how he'd grown to not only be his friend but his brother. And I was thankful to everyone who spoke about my brother. It was comforting to know he'd live on in the hearts of others as well as mine.
After that we left the church and headed into the cemetery where the casket was lowered and final prayers for resting in peace were said.
Everyone was leaving to go back to our house to pay respects to my parents.
I stayed back for a while just looking at my brother's final resting place. Why? I thought. Why did he leave and why didn't he fight harder to stay?
I knew I wasn't being fair because I knew he fought and if not for anything then for me, I knew he fought hard for me. And I knew that he was in excruciating pain at the end that a part of me was thankful that his suffering was over.
A tall figure came to stand next to me but I didn't need to turn to know who it was, I had a thing for knowing he was in the room before I even saw him.
Micah out a hand on my shoulder and squeezed, "it's getting cold Emmy lets get you home."
I didn't argue, instead I walked over and Laid the rose I had in my hand over the burial spot and whispered,"I love you Nicky bear."
And walked back to Micah and we headed for his car together.