Brennifer: My first true love❤️

Chapter eighty one: Tough times

It's the day after Jen and Brad found out about their miscarriage. They both hardly slept last night and they spent most of the night talking things over and crying. Jen wants nothing more to be reunited with her babies, but she also wants a little more time, just her and Brad to grieve before they have to put on their 'strong and brave' faces so the girls don't think there's anything wrong. Jen texts Courteney asking if it's okay if she comes and collects them this afternoon, to which Courteney obviously said okay to.

"It still hasn't sunken in yet" Jen says quietly as she comes out of the bathroom with her head facing the floor

"I know babe, I don't think it'll sink in for a while. How are you holding up?" Brad opens his arms up for Jen, and she climbs back into bed, snuggles down into him, burying her face in his chest 

"I've just started to bleed, which means it's the start of it coming out of my body. Please just hold me Brad, and don't let go"

Brad's grip on her tightens as he can feel her start to cry again. He just knows that she's feeling even more emotional now that she's started to bleed and her body is getting rid of everything. He doesn't know what to say and he still knows that nothing he will say will make her feel any better, so he just holds her as tight as he can as he rubs her back up and down while leaving small kisses on the top of her head.

(Jen's P.O.V)

I've been wanting to ask Brad something for the past few hours but for some reason I'm really scared of his reaction. Deep down, I know he will be supportive but my irrational mind is telling me he won't.

"Brad... can I ask you something?" I look down as I ask him the question

"Of course you can, anything babe" He takes his finger under my chin and lifts it up so I'm looking at him

"Umm... would you umm- would you look at me differently if I said that, I umm- that I didn't want to have sex for a while?"

"What? Of course I wouldn't look at you differently Jen, how could you even think that?"

"Because we are married and part of a marriage is having sex with your partner, but... but I really feel like after what's just happened, I don't know when I'll be ready to have sex again" I start crying again, knowing our lives are going to be somewhat different for the foreseeable future

"Jen, I agree with you that sex is part of a marriage but after what you've just been through, I wasn't even expecting for you to want to do that any time soon. We have the rest of our lives to have sex babe and not having sex for a few months won't be the end of the world. I'll love you no matter what and I'll always support you in whatever you choose"

I don't want this to sound like I'm a 'sex addict' but I absolutely love having sex with Brad, it's one of the things that I live for. He makes me feel so unbelievably special and the pleasure he gives me is out of this world. Knowing that's not going to happen for a while because I won't be ready is killing me deep inside but I know that it's for the best. How can I proceed to enjoy something when I've just lost something so precious to me?

"What are you thinking about? You're staring into space"

"I'm thinking about you, my amazing husband. You are so supportive and I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather be with"

"You're so special to me Jen and I'll do everything in my power to help you get through this"

"You're allowed to grieve too babe and I'll help you through that too... you know what, I think I'm ready to go and get our babies now, I've missed them too much and I just want to bring them back and we can all cuddle up in bed watching a movie"