Brennifer: My first true love❤️

Chapter eighty two: Family time

(Jen's P.O.V)

Brad and I have rented out Courteney's beach house with a private beach for the weekend. I think we need some family time, just us, the kids and Norman. It's been almost a month since the miscarriage and things haven't gotten any easier. Just the other week I was diagnosed with depression after Brad made me go to the doctors because he was concerned about me. I try my hardest not to show my emotions when I'm around the children, especially the girls but it's so hard. Both Brad and I are hoping this mini vacation will help repair some of the damage.

We are in the car and all three children have fallen asleep, along with Norman nodding off in the backseat too. Brad is driving and I'm staring out of the window locked in a trance. He places his hand on my thigh, letting me know he's there and that he can sense my current sadness.

"Are you okay babe?"

"I'm fine" I lie. I know I shouldn't and I know I can tell him anything but I can't help but tell him I'm fine, which I know he definitely doesn't believe

"Come on Jen, I know you're not fine. You're allowed to feel these feelings"

"I don't want to talk about it with the kids behind us"

"That's fine, but when we are alone later, we are talking"

"Okay"

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Jen and Brad have settled into their new home for the weekend. Brad is getting the girls changed into their swim suits, while Jen is getting River ready. The girls are so excited to go to the beach and they've been nagging Jen to go into the sea with them. Even though she really doesn't want to, she wants to make her children happy so she's going to do whatever they want.

"Come on mama, let go" Pollyanna pulls Jen by the arm, leading her to the door

"Let mama get changed into her bikini first okay"

Jen quickly gets changed and all of them make their way to the Sandy beach. Brad blows up a small paddling pool for River to sit in and Jen takes the girls into the sea.

"Spash mama, me spash"

"You're splashing are you baby?"

"Wook mama"

Pollyanna takes both of her hands and smacks them onto the surface of the water, making a tiny splash, but to her it's a big splash.

"Woah, that was a big splash baby"

"Mama, water in my eyes"

Jen takes her hand and wipes the water off of Ophelia's eyes. Even though both girls have their floaties on, Jen still doesn't let go of them.

"Look girls, dada's coming"

Brad is making his way into the water with River in his arms and Norman running in front of him. The family of 6 are playing in the water and for a few hours, the smile on Jens face is not forced.

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(Brad's P.O.V)

The girls and River are finally asleep after a fun day at the beach. I told Jen to go and relax whilst I put them to bed, knowing she desperately needs to try and relax as much as possible.

I walk into the bedroom to find her sitting up in bed, reading a book. When she notices me, she looks up and weakly smiles. I climb into bed next to her, wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into my chest.

"Do you want to tell me what you're feeling?"

"I- I just didn't think it would be this hard. My brain keeps telling me I've failed our family. All I want to do is to make you happy but all I've done is made you miserable. I can't help feeling the way I'm feeling, I don't want to feel like this but I don't know how to stop the feelings"

"You haven't failed our family Jen, I know you feel like you have but you certainly haven't. Babe, being married to you makes me the happiest man alive. You're allowed to feel what you're feeling, your feelings are valid. If you think you're disappointing me because you're feeling so sad, you're not. You're 100% not making me disappointed baby. It's important for you to feel the things you're feeling, that's the way you'll eventually come out of this dark place. Jen, I don't care how long it takes you to feel better, as long as you keep talking to me and letting me know how you feel. I'll be there to help you, I want to help you. As your husband, please let me help you gorgeous. Yes, it kills me everyday to see you struggling but you haven't made me miserable"

"I don't think I tell you this enough, but I love you, I love you so fucking much. I love you so much it hurts. When I wake up and see you laying next to me everyday, it makes me feel so warm inside. Knowing that you love me unconditionally, makes me realise that all this is worth going through... well not worth going through, but you know what I mean. I wouldn't want to be going through this with anyone other than you. You are the most amazing daddy to our children and when I see you playing with them, it makes me smile, no matter what other feelings are going on inside me"

"You tell me all the time baby. I love you so much you have absolutely no idea how much. I'd do anything for you. I'd die for you in a heartbeat and if I could take all of your pain away, then I would! You are the most important person in my life, alongside our other three little miracles, not forgetting little Normy noo. I wouldn't want anyone else to be the mother of my children and you are the best mommy they could have"

We both start to get emotional, so I hold her even tighter, rubbing my hand up and down her arm. I pull the covers over us both and we both cuddle so close together, never wanting to let go. 

Hey everyone!
I'm sorry this chapter is considerably shorter than my other ones, but not only did I not know what else to write for it, but I also didn't want to prolong an upsetting chapter!🥺 I hope you enjoyed reading it and please don't forget to let me know what you think of it in the comments. Love you all🕊