When Earth Turns To Ashes

Bonus: Okay Again

Kai's eyes sprang open, met with a white ceiling and blinding lights. He immediately closed them, cursing Thorne for whatever prank he had pulled this time. Had he put a spotlight above Kai's bed? For stars sake, his head was pounding. Though perhaps that wasn't entirely due to whatever light fixture resided over Kai's head. It felt more internal.

In times past, Thorne had put red plastic cups on Kai's floor while he slept and, one time, had even saran wrapped him to the bed. (He was a heavy sleeper.) But this light was less funny and more painful.

"Kai?" Asked a voice beside him. He knew he recognized it, though he couldn't understand why. It was the voice of a girl, and, as far as Kai knew, his only friends were Thorne and his father.

A spike of fear shot through him. What was a girl doing in his room?

Slowly, he peeked his eyes open again, opening just one in this girl's direction. He saw brown hair, a pale face and the most concerned pair of eyes he had ever seen. The instant he saw her, everything flooded back to him. The three words whispered. The lightning bolt of fire. The pain. The nothingness. He had thought that he would die.

Apparently not.

"Cinder?" Kai gasped, trying to pull himself into a sitting position, but crying out as a new wave of pain hit him.

Cinder immediately rose from her seat, slightly unsteady on just one foot, placing her hands on Kai's shoulders. She gently eased him back down against the mattress.

"Hey," she scolded, though not unkindly. "Take it easy. You did die just a couple days ago." She sounded as though she were trying not to cry, but her mouth was set in a firm line. Kai wanted to reach out to her— to touch her— but his entire body felt like... well, he wasn't sure. But it definitely didn't feel good.

"Water?" Kai asked, voice scraggly. Cinder nodded her head and grabbed a hospital cup with the largest straw known to mankind from a hospital tray. She held it up to his lips and he swallowed greedily until his mouth no longer felt like sandpaper.

"I died?" Kai asked, turning his head on the pillow as Cinder sat back down in the plastic chair. He had a strange déjà vu moment as Cinder looked down at him from the chair. Except, it had once been he who had watched carefully.

"Yes," said Cinder, voice cracking. "When you were an idiot and told me that you loved me, my mother sent a bolt of fire down upon you. Almost your entire body is burned, though, lucky for you, it's not all that bad. Of course there will be scaring and such, but Thorne and Cress were able to put you out pretty fast. Apparently your heart stopped due to the bolt sent directly at it." Her nose scrunched in an almost painful way. "I don't really understand how it worked. But within minutes, your heart went into arrest and then... then..." Cinder covered her face.

"Don't," Kai hushed, reaching for her despite the pain that coursed through his being. He didn't know why he cared so much for her. He barely knew her, for crying in a bucket. But he loved her. He had scars enough to prove that love— scars that he would never denounce. "It wasn't your fault. I'm the one who decided to screw with the plan. I made my bed, and you know what? It's not too shabby."

Cinder let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob, but she drew her hands away from her face. Her expression was kind, but she looked absolutely exhausted— as if she hadn't slept for days. It didn't help that she still wore bandages on her own person from her little tryst with fire just a few weeks before. Boy, were they one flaming hot couple.

"Why did you do it?" Cinder asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Make my bed?"

"You know what I mean."

Kai released a sigh. "Because– I don't know. I guess I realized that we could all very well die that night, and I couldn't die without you knowing that I was in love with you. The real you. The you that is haunted and ghosted and troubled. I needed to say it."

"You could have told me that without using my name— without summoning her. You could have let Cress do it and–"

"Cinder," Kai cut her off, feeling rather sheepish. "I couldn't let Cress do it. Not after everything I did— everything I put you through. I just had to do it."

Cinder averted her gaze, looking down at the scuffed toe of her shoe. There were crutches beneath her chair, cold and gray. The doctors had already fitted her for a prosthetic, but Cinder didn't much like it— or at least, she didn't as far as Kai knew. But it hadn't even been a month since Cinder's accident. There were wounds to heal and time for things to change.

"You really scared me." Kai watched as a strand of hair fell from her ponytail and she brushed it back with a partially bandaged hand. "They said that your heart stopped and I just..." She glanced up, tears in her eyes. "It was like Ran and Peony all over again. It was all my fault."

"But it wasn't," Kai said, brow furrowed. His head pounded, but he didn't want Cinder to leave him. "You didn't ask me to help you. I inserted myself into this situation. You bear no blame."

"But I do," Cinder choked, pressing a hand to her cheek. Her face was flushed and her eyes red, but she somehow managed to still look like an angel. "I should never have told you about any of it. I knew the risks, and yet..."

"Look at me," Kai said. When Cinder didn't meet his gaze, he tilted his head to the side. "Look at me, Cinder." She looked, though with a sadness he could hardly comprehend.

"I'm fine. My heart stopped, sure. But it's working again. I'm alive and breathing. And I'm glad that of all the people I could wake up from death to, it's you." He smiled at her, and through her tears, she smiled back. "I'm sorry for what I did, but I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change a thing."

Cinder stood from her chair, leaning heavily on her crutches. She swiped at her cheeks, head bent low as she spoke. "I'm gonna go tell your dad and Thorne and everyone else that you're awake. I probably should have done that first, but–" Cinder bit her lip. "Oh well."

She walked to the door, and Kai felt panic begin to rise from within him. He couldn't let her leave him— he didn't want to live a second without her.

"Cinder," Kai called out, somewhat breathless. His mind scrambled for something to say— anything that would allow her to stay for just another moment. "What did you tell my father?"

"Oh." Cinder closed her eyes in that way people only do when they're ridiculously embarrassed, as if looking at the world would mean to face unending mockery. She leaned forward, brow furrowed. "Well, you see, Thorne was the one who called him." Kai immediately felt a twinge in his chest, knowing this would be anything other than good. "And, uh, he told him that we were having a bonfire and you tripped and fell in."

"What?" Kai asked, astounded. "And he believed it?"

"Well, not really," Cinder chuckled. "The falling into a fire stuff, yes. But the bonfire in a graveyard is something that he didn't find particularly plausible. Then he gave Thorne a good, long look and suddenly seemed to find it somewhat easier to believe. I don't know. You'll probably get grilled on it soon enough."

"Stars above."

"Yeah," Cinder muttered, her eyes nearly rolling out of her head.

And in that moment, with their shared exasperation at Thorne, everything felt okay again. They had both done things that they regretted, but they would move past it. All would be well once more. Kai felt himself relax against the pillows.

"Hey, Cinder," Kai said.

"What?"

"I meant it, back in the graveyard. I– I–"

"I love you, too," Cinder whispered, quiet enough that Kai wondered if he had heard her correctly. Her eyes darted up for a moment, and she shot him a shy smile. Then, without another word, she turned and hobbled out of the room, leaving Kai speechless behind her. Cinder could burn the world to nothing and he would never stop being amazed by her. He would never stop watching her with awe in his eyes and love in his heart. And that was perfectly okay with him.