When Earth Turns To Ashes

Flames

Soft dawn light stung her eyes as though the angels of Heaven were reaching down to giver her a kiss. Her legs were tangled in the sheets from her fitful nights rest. Her breathing came in dragging gasps, and her heart attempted to fly to a new home. Sweat stuck at the back of her neck. Cinder felt the nauseating urge to vomit, but suppressed it.

Throwing herself out of bed and glancing at her clock, Cinder let out a sigh. She was awake thirty minutes before her alarm would go off. It wasn't as if she needed an alarm. Her nightmares were abrupt enough to awake her.

Cinder tiptoed around her apartment. She had it all to herself though it was tiny. Her bedroom was barely large enough to hold her bed and the side table to it. Her single bathroom contained a shower so small that turning within was a struggle. And her combined kitchen and living room had only a tiny fridge, microwave, counter with a stool (for eating at) and a broken up desk and chair in the corner.

Still, Cinder would choose this life of loneliness over any life with her foster family- of endangering her loved one's and even her enemies. Living with the Lihn's had been a nightmare all by itself. They had never loved her or cared about her in the slightest. The only reason they had taken her in was for financial benefit and to have a servant to do all their dirty work.

That's why Cinder had left them. Well, that and another reason. She couldn't stand to think of what had happened back in High School. Back in Olympia. What she had done. What they had done to her. How she had realized she wasn't safe around people.

Stepping into her warm shower, Cinder quickly washed herself off. It was the best way for her to wake up completely. It was the only place where she could cry and let herself drown in the memory of her dream.

The dream. The one that occurred every night to torture her. The one that left her sleepless. The one that served as a reminder that she was completely and utterly alone. The dream that reinstated the warning that she was not to love anyone else for their own safety.

Sometimes Cinder wondered what it was like to dream of something good. Maybe have a dream where she had a friend, or even fell in love. She had never experienced such a thing- had hardly felt love. She was alone in her own little world. Anyways, dreaming of good things may have been more tortuous than the nightmares. Living in a fantasy wasn't ever living after all. Or at least that's what She had all told her.

The new life that Cinder had started for herself was supposed to be different. She had wanted to be happy. To make friends. To enjoy her life. Two years later, and Cinder was still living in the same lonely place she had started at.

Every day was the same. Cinder would wake up at six forty-five (even though her alarm remained set at quarter after), eat, dress, and leave by seven forty-five. She would get to school at eight and go to lunch at noon. At one, Cinder would go and work at her mechanics shop until six and then go home. At home, Cinder would eat, do homework, finish a mechanics project, read a book, then go to bed at eleven. She had flesh and blood, but the rest of her existence was robotic.

Switching off her shower, Cinder got ready for her day. It wasn't as if she didn't like what she did. In fact, she loved working as a mechanic. She enjoyed going to school and taking a bunch of different classes. The things she did were what she loved most; but for once, Cinder would have loved to enjoy them with someone. She would love to share her jokes with a friend. Or go to the movies with someone she cared about.

Cinder shook the thoughts from her mind. Their was no point in daydreaming. She had to live her life. Take some chances. Enjoy what little she had. At least she was alive.

Grabbing her warmest winter coat and her keys, Cinder headed towards her car. It was ancient. A rust-bucket. But she had found it at the dump and fixed it up all by herself. It was months worth of late night hours and hard work. She was proud of the thing, even if it was a bit ugly.