Distressed

ch 20; replace my squalor

Amadeus tries scrubbing his arms with a sponge when he sits down in the tub.
He is scrubbing a little hardly.
It feels as his dirt isn't placed outwardly, more like the dirt is inside him. Underneath his skin.
He has taken several bath since that Friday, who were about two days ago, depending how you count.
It's Sunday today. Almost evening.

Amadeus starts tearing up when he isn't able to rub off the dirty feeling he is feeling.
He stops scrubbing his arms when they start getting too red.
The boy sighs and wraps his arms around his knees in the tub. Leaning forward a slightly so, his bangs touches the surface.
The sponge floats beside him.
For a moment it's silent.
Then he starts sobbing shakily while his body starts trembling.
He would do whatever it takes to get ride of the awful feeling he has. Getting ride of the dirt. Stop feeling filthy as he does.
But it seems impossible. The sponge will never reaches underneath his skin.
The boy sobs for a while until he inhales sharply when the memory of Michael pops up in his mind.
He sits upright with parted lips.
His mind starts spinning around with ideas.
Perhaps he can get Micheal to replace the awful mark, Judas left inside him?
Maybe he will at least feeling a little cleaner if he does that?!

Amadeus gets out from the tub almost immediately when that thought reached his mind.
He is grabbing that idea as his last beacon of hope.
The black haired boy wraps a towel around his body and walks into his bedroom.
Inside his bedroom, he picks up his phone and is sending a text to Micheal.
("Hi, I'm coming over, like in thirty minutes... You have still my scarf :)")
Amadeus looks asking at the text he just sent. Doesn't it sounds too boring?
("Perhaps we can see a movie or something;) ")
He sends shortly after the other.
Since he is feeling pretty satisfied with his texts, he starts dressing himself.

***
Amadeus looks asking at Micheal's door.
Then he glances asking down at his phone.
Micheal hasn't answered him yet.
Instead had Amadeus sent more texts without getting response.
The boy sighs.
Perhaps is Micheal busy today and is maybe not even home.
Amadeus puts his phone back in his pocket. Then he decides to try ringing the bell and see if Micheal is home.
*ding dong*
At first it's silent as no one were home. But then he hears the footsteps behind the door.
When the door starts creak opened, Amadeus's heart beats faster. The first feeling of happiness he has felt during the weekend.
The dark haired man looks both asking and exhausted at Amadeus.
"Amadeus? What are you doing here?" Micheal asks.
Amadeus swallows nervously. He isn't sure if he should read Micheal as he isn't welcome. Or if Micheal have'd just woke up and hasn't wake completely up yet.
"I-... I need my scarf back... I...Text you about that like forty minutes ago..." Amadeus explains and inhales deeply.
"And I wanted to see you..." he adds when he sees how Micheal's ice blue eyes are eyeing him confused.
Micheal peers his eyes as he tries understanding what Amadeus talks about.
Then he jolts gasping and reaches after something in the hallway.
"That's right... I've forgot to give you this back..." he says and hands over Amadeus's black-gray check pattern scarf.
Amadeus grabs the scarf and raises an asking brow.
Does this means he isn't welcome in?
"Am... Am I welcome in? I don't care if your apartment isn't clean..." he tries again and really wants getting inside.
Micheal stiffen of the request, but his eyes seem glowing of happiness.
"I-...I don't know if...If that's a good idea..." he mumbles.
Amadeus tilts his head.
"Or...You have someone else over?...Do...Do you have...A.." Amadeus swallows hardly and feels how his eyes start tearing.
"Date?" He adds with a lower voice and looks down a little.
Was he too late? Did he decided to pick Micheal too late? Has Micheal already got tired of him and moved on?
Micheal wides his eyes slowly as he first hadn't heard Amadeus.
"No-... I don't..." he exhales.
Amadeus looks up and the corners of his lips twitch a little.
"Then... What about a movie?" He tries again.
Micheal exhales a bit bothered.
"Okay... Come in" he smiles.