Living With Myself

Chapter 7

Zelda looked out to the market, where rows and rows of lamps illuminated the streets with their flickering flames of different colors. It was lovely but she wished she didn't have to go and spend time among the people. She wanted to just admire the festival from afar. In silence.

She walked away from the great window and kept walking down the hallway. There was still so much to be done, and she had to be at the central hall for the midnight ball. Yet another thing she wished she could admire from afar. Or at least she wished she didn't have to endure it on her own.

She shook her head. Endure? Where had that thought come from? These were the happy days of peace time. These weren't the days she'd had to endure. Oh, but she felt just as alone as she had been during those seven years in hiding. Why hadn't Link come to accompany her? Maybe he felt the same need for silence that she did. She couldn't blame him for it.

She turned a corner into another empty hallway with more windows that opened to the forest behind the castle, with mirrors hanging on the pilars between them. Ganondorf's forces had come through that forest. Luckily. Otherwise Impa wouldn't have had enough time to get her out of the castle. She entwined her fingers to stop them from shaking.

No, she couldn't go to the festivities at the market. Who was she fooling? She stopped at one of the mirrors and took off the sheer purple veil of her solstice gown. Her face was stuck in a frown, but she didn't have the strength to try and smile. She crumpled the veil in her hands, wishing she had gone for the white costume that covered her mouth.

But that costume had brought back so many memories.

She looked back to herself, and saw her eyes turn red and her hair darkening to a deeper rosy blonde. She could still do it, as easy as breathing. Over a decade had passed, and she never forgot.

She walked away from the mirror, hurrying down a different corridor. She still had to be at the ball by midnight, but she now had some time to visit her father.

The guards at the entrance of his room nodded as she passed, but said nothing. She closed the doors behind her with a sigh.

Her father's condition had not improved, and she didn't need nor want a report on that. She walked up to his bed and sat on the edge.

He stared up at the ceiling, and made no move to acknowledge her.

"Dad?" whispered Zelda, moving closer so he could see her. "Today is the carnival of the solstice. Everybody will be at the ball tonight-"

Zelda stopped herself when her voice cracked. She felt stupid for crying now, when her father had been like this for over a year. He had even stopped talking to her for months, so what was new?

Her father blinked, and tears fell from his eyes. She wiped them with the edge of her sleeve.

"Magda? is that you?" asked her father with a hoarse voice.

She sighed, and hoped she wasn't in for another one of his nights of screaming and yelling.

"No. Magda is not here" she said. Magda had left months ago after going insane when she remembered her own murder at the hands of Ganondorf's minions. It was a thing that had kept happening more and more often, especially to the people serving at the castle who had been the first to be killed during the attack.

"Impa? Impa, is that you?" he asked.

Zelda pursed her lips. It was a bad night, for sure.

"No, it's-" she tried to say, but her father held her hand.

"Impa, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me Impa. Please."

Zelda fought with herself to not pull her hand away from him.

But it was so hard.

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