Sander and Robbe, Minute by Minute

I am Fine

He slept for what felt like hours. When he cracked his eyes open again, it was night. He glimpsed the moonlight through the curtain, and his mind unwillingly went back to that night he first saw him. A tide of pain threatened to pull him under, and he turned his eyes outward from that memory to his room. There was a plate of food and a glass of water on his bedside table. Sander didn't feel hungry, he just felt tired, his body ached all over. He stared at the ceiling, felt the broken pieces of his heart slided over each other, and heavy drowsiness covered him again; he gladly surrended himself to it.

*

He was awaken by a light push on his arm. He opened his eyes and Britt's smile filled his vision. Sander groaned and closed his eyes again to go back to sleep.

Britt nudged him again. "Sander. Come on, you can't sleep forever. I brought chicken soup, you need to eat something."

Opening his eyes, Sander said, not too gently, "Why are you here? My mom told you. Of course she did."

"Yes, and she also told me you didn't eat anything last night. Cmmon, eat some." She screwed open the container lid, the smell of soup was sweet, and Sander's stomach rumbled.

Britt laughed lightly and took a spoonful of soup to feed him. He took the spoon from her hand and slurpped the soup. It was good and he was hungry. Sander took the container and fed himself silently. He watched Britt face; smiling at him with a clear and bright shine in her eyes. Finished, he put it on the table and drink the glass of water.

He smiled, "Thanks Britt. It's really good."

Britt beamed. "I know babe. So tell me what happened and how about talking with your therapist?"

"Nothing happened. I am fine and I don't need to see my therapist."

"Sander, I am worried about you. You didn't reply my texts—"

Sander opened his mouth to answer but she cut him off, "Okay I got it, you were in your bad episode"—Sander cringed,  I was not. I am not, but Britt didn't seem to notice—"and I forgive you, and now I am here to take care of you."

Sander wanted to say that all he wanted right now was to be alone, but he also felt grateful that she was there. That beside his mom, someone else knew and accepted it. He had took it for granted, lied and deluded himself that he had found someone better. Someone who understood and felt right to him. He thought about Robbe again, and how effortless they have connected with each other. It felt so natural, and the boy had turned what they had shared together into something repulsive. Now that the shock had gone, he was able to think clearly. He knew what Robbe said was not true and he didn't deserve those words. No one did. He felt anger rose in him then, but he exhaled in and out slowly.

"Sander, are you okay?" Britt looked alarmed.

Sander exhaled again and smiled at her, "I am fine. Thank you for being here Britt." He hugged her, and he felt Britt kiseed her hair softly.