WikiHow: My husband's a supervillain.

Arson wasn't what I saw doing on Saturday but here I am.

"It's a glitter bomb Ranboo, we'll be fine!" Tubbo explained as he messed around with the wires of the missle.

It reached the ceiling. The warehouse wasn't built to hold weapons such as this one. The area was large enough that Ranboo felt safe enough with his body crushed against the wall. It would do nothing. Like everyone else in the room, he too would only have three seconds to escape before the building went up in sparkles and fire.

His hand gripped round the metal of the door. It would have to be pulled open any second now. Tubbo knew what he was doing with all the tinkering he did. Ranboo gave them as a family around five minutes until their corpses were discovered charred from being too close to a bomb. Also smothered with glitter because that was what he had tried to swap them all out with.

Michael, their child, clutched to Tubbo's free hand. His husband grins as he snips the wire connected to the panic button.

"You see Michael, now we can't accidentally set it off and the heroes can't turn it off either. Always cut the panic button. It'll make sure your plan works and keeps you safe."

Ranboo doesn't like cutting off his husband's lessons. Most of the time they were sweet stories about bees or something existential that the three of them would discuss together, (Michael's inputs did not always add up to the theory but he was learning). These were the lessons that were supposed to be avoided until the toddler was old enough to think for himself.

It was okay. This was fine. Deep breaths in, deep breaths out. This was far from the first time he'd been on damage control.

Across the room, he yelled.

"That doesn't mean it's going to be any less disatorious! What if someone's allergic to glitter? What if I'm allergic to glitter, or Michael! We haven't gotten Michael tested for allergies yet, what if he dies from an allergic reaction!" As if to prove a point, Ranboo held up their zombie piglin child.

Tubbo looked at their kid, as if he was considering not setting the building they were in on fire. He was having a moment of clarity. Ranboo could see it in his crystallic orbs that always showed exactly how the madman was feeling.

God finally, Ranboo had finally won a battle between himself and Tubbo. This day needed to be marked on the calendars. If they destroy a whole section of a city, they could get a national holiday for this day.

Tubbo placed the scissors on the floor.

Who was Ranboo kidding? Tubbo was deadpanning at him as if it was his silent way of saying, 'that sounds like a you problem'. Which honestly, was what he was trying to communicate.

"Anyways, it'll be worth it when everyone gets so confused why it's raining glitter!"

"We could pour glitter out of an aeroplane! This is all unnecessary."

"It's the dramatics man. You know, make the heroes think there's some big bomb that will go off. I bet they're panicking right now."

"They don't know you have this! No one's going to come bust down the door and make you put your hands in the air. And these dramatics will get us killed! There's nowhere near enough room for anything safe to happen here. "

Tubbo was ignoring him. Tubbo never ignored him unless Tubbo thought Ranboo was being an idiot.

Oh for fucks sake.

"Tubbo, what did you do?"

He didn't want to know, (he really really did.)

"I told the police."

Oh, well that could have been a lot worse.

"Of course, they've probably headed to the biggest warehouse thinking I intended for this to have a lot of room. If they head to the building I think they're in, if we set this off in three minutes, they'll hit the landing site."