evanie ~ ciarán mcdonald

03.

the boys were having a party tonight with a few other members of the bands 'family". i couldnt wait to finally meet ryan beatty and jaden.

i was drying my hair after my shower and as i walked back to my room i almost bumped into ciaran again. he looked at me as if to say 'look where your going' as if he wasnt the one walking and texting. i feel like he doesnt like me, maybe i remind him of an ex or something, or maybe he likes matt and is jealous?

"ev are you drinking tonight?" matt asked, sitting on his bed as i looked for my hair dryer

"maybe, i wont have much though. ive been told i can be an emotional drunk"

"i can imagine" matt laughed

"and whats that supposed to mean, mr champion" i raised my eyebrows at him

"you cried over the notebook when we watched it on facetime, not only that do you remember when-"

"no! dont remind me i dont want to know" i said before turning the hair dryer on to drown out the sound of his voice

it was now 8pm and the party was beginning to start. i was standing in the kitchen all alone, i love parties but right now there are so many people here who i dont know and it makes me uncomfortable.

this girl, tavia was beginning to get a little too close to matt. i spoke with jobas girlfriend zuri and she told me they dated back in the day.

"evanie, have you seen the way she's practically sitting on him? thats not ok. do you want me to-" i interrupted zuri

"i've got this" i smiled, putting on a brave face. i put down my drink and wandered over to matt and tavia on the sofa.

"hey! im evanie, you must be tavia? i've heard so much about you"

"oh, hey" she said moving herself away from matt, she was really pretty, "yeah im tavia, you can call me tav. me and matt used to date"

"i know" i glared at matt "but you see, im his girlfriend now so-"

"wait? matt you told me you were single"

the room fell silent for a moment until romil burst in with a dog and people soon became distracted again, including myself until i saw matt try to speak to tavia again, she backed out and walked off so i decided to drag matt out to talk

"you didnt tell your ex you're with me and let her touch you like that. matt, i was about to go in and throw hands when i saw her on you"

"so now your saying i cant keep anything private? i have to be soo open with everyone? i cant have fun? and i cant be friends with any girls? ev, fuck you" he was clearly drunk. he's right evanie, he's too good for you

"matt no i didnt mean that. its just..."

"im gonna get another drink evanie. leave me alone." he doesn't want you here

i was going to try to talk to him again but i knew i would fail and end up even more hurt. so i decided to call it a night.

"ev, where are you going?" zuri reached out to stop me from moving any further

"im gonna sleep. matt didnt tell tavia we were together, if i didnt say anything i dont wanna know what they could've got up to. then he starts accusing me of shit like-"

"evanie baby he's drunk. he doesnt mean anything, he doesnt understand ok. maybe he just forgot to tell her, how long have you been together for?"

"two fucking years" i said before storming off. i felt tears coming and before i could get to my room i broke down.

how pathetic evanie

the door infront of me opened and i was met with ciaran.

"hey, shit, are you ok?" he asked, putting his hand on my shoulder. the fact that he was being nice to me made me sob even more, "you can come in"

i sat down next to him on rob's bed and just cried onto his shoulder.

"i trusted him ciaran. i loved him. i thought he loved me too but the- the way he looked at tavia, h-hes never looked at me like that before. tavia is gorgeous, of course matt would chose her over me"

"shh, you know thats not true. evanie, he's never been happier than he is now, when he's with you. not even with tav. dont you for a minute think you're not good enough"

his arm wrapped around me as he held me in the dark room. we could still hear the music playing but it was faint as rob's room was soundproofed.

"ciaran?"

"yes evanie"

"why do you act like such a bitch to me?" i could tell by the silence that he was trying to think of an excuse.

"i act that way to everyone what do you mean?"

"the way i feel like you ignore me, you're one of matts closest friends so of course i want to get along with you but its like you wont let me"

he moved his arm and turned to face me

"i think you're cool evanie. dont get me wrong, i want to be friends too but"

"but what?"

"i find it hard to trust people i dont know, to show the real side of me, not the front i put on. ever since my ex did some shit, she sent pictures of me around, i havent been able to trust anyone. how do i know that when you and matt break up that you're not gonna do the same, not just to him but the rest of us"

"i totally understand. ciaran, im so sorry. im not like that, ok. not many people are," i could tell he began to get emotional so i reciprocated his actions and put my arms around him, giving him a hug but not just that, reassurance and security. "can i stay in here with you tonight? i saw rob leave earlier so i dont think hes coming back and i dont really want to face matt whilst he's drunk"

"of course"

"thank you" my head layed on his chest and i pulled back to face him, he used the sleeves of his hoodie to wipe my tears off my cheeks

"you should go to sleep, ev. do you need anything? water?"

"no, thank you. i just want to sleep" i moved away from him and stood up "im gonna go get another shirt from my room-"

"its ok you can have one of mine. i mean, if you'd like." i would really like his boys II men shirt to be honest

"if you dont mind then"

he threw me a few of his shirts and they smelled really good. maybe even nicer than matt. evanie stop

i chose the boys II men tshirt and ciaran covered his eyes as i got changed

"do you want to sleep in robs bed? i mean a mattress on the floor probably isn't the most comfortable-"

"no ev, im fine. you get some rest ok, its been a long night. i quite like the floor anyway" he added

i wasnt gonna argue with him tonight so i just got into bed as he sat on the floor, doing something on his laptop

"goodnight ciaran"

"goodnight evanie, sweet dreams"

----

a/n

ahhhhhhhhhh