Story Of A Girl

Confession

October 31, 2014

        I don't know what I'm doing anymore. The last time you heard from me I was trying to die. Well, guess what. Here I am 2 hospitalized treatments later. Coastal Harbour was actually kind of fun, I met a few really cool people but none of us really got close like me and these girls Savannah and Joelynn from St. Simons by The Sea. They had become my ride or die clan since we met in March. I just got out of Greenleaf last night and let me tell you, I think I found the one while I was there. Peter Graham. I've only dated a few guys of the opposite race before and this time I just felt like maybe I actually am in something different now. I want to call it love but no, not yet. He asked me out and we kissed but until we meet again, I'll just take it as a one night stand without the sex involvation. Is that even a word though? Haha. It's crazy to think I've spent every day for the past week with someone who I care that cares about me and we even went on our own little dates where we wouldn't let anyone else sit with us after we watched Mean Girls while everyone else took a nap after Group Therapy. We had a few issues here and there but we always managed to work things out. Except the day before yesterday when he left me for a long time crush. I couldn't believe it but as long as he was happy that'd be good enough for me. 

        Well, you're probably still wondering why I went back to Greenleaf. I moved in with my mom and we got into this argument about homeschooling after she took me back out of public school and I overdosed on my sleeping pills that my doctor had put me on. That's one thing I just couldn't talk myself out of for some reason. And now that Peter was in my life and out at the same time, I just didn't know what to do. I have to get him back. Maya, show him that you can take on that role and make him wife that. My mind was trying to support me now. So that's just what I did. I knew he would still be there if I went back so I tried my best.

November 11, 2014

        Like I said, he was still there. I got out today after another week stay. All I did this time to get in was cut myself slightly with a butter knife because that's all mom kept available in her house now. There he was though, as soon as I walked back in through those double doors, greeting me with a slight hug around my neck but I watched this girl get furious as he ran his hand down my back and so I walked over to her and sat down. He sat very close to her and I watched as she made it obvious that he was taken away from me again. He told me him and April split up as soon as I left because he realized how much I meant to him. He tried to speak to me a few times that night but I refused to let another gamer boy play me. At least you are a game people love to play. My mind reminds me as I repeat that over and over again. My room mate this time, Jamillia is the fucking bomb but I think she hates me because I'm not in the cool kids club. But that is totally fine by me. You know I actually got him back two days later. He called that girl he was all up on his "sister" after he randomly kissed me in Therapy while the worker was out. 

        He's all mine now. No more having to fight for him or whatever and I think we even have our own little family now. We have a God Son named Cooper and his mommy, Sierra. Along with Jasmine and Curtis and their daughter Nevaeh. We didn't need anybody else. He had even planned for us to have a daughter and name her Destiny. I just didn't know what I was getting into. Now, I'm on the car ride home just wondering, what would I be if he just left again? I would be nothing.