Story Of A Girl

Channon

December 22, 2013.

        I can't believe he's gone. Chan left me again. He'll come back, he always does. I can't believe after the eighteen times we've been together he still doesn't see it. I really do love him. All together throughout the times we've dated it went eighteen months but it was always like a chevron pattern. 2 months, 3 days, 1 month, 8 days.... I never knew what he'd choose for us. But one day last month I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't let him hit me again. That was my worst mistake. I was bruised for 2 weeks after that on my hip and of course, he always left a hickey after his sex games he's been playing. That's all he wants, someone to control and he knows he's got it. I've never been one to say no to him or anyone else in that matter. I hated the idea of sex already but since they had become a highly respected by school couple I just wanted to make it last. Even at the beginning, all I wanted was to feel loved. I was lonely and broken.

        Kelsey, Chan's sister, hated my guts for a really long time but here recently when I overdosed at school and she was sick at the same time, she called me her best friend to the nurse. Landon, a mutual friend of Kelsey and I, had told me later on that Channon was cheating on me. I didn't care, I still wanted to be with him but now that a bit of time has passed and he has a baby on the way with Samantha Newcom, I'm done. I really am, I hope anyways. His other sister Kristen wanted me and Channon to marry soon, umm no. Today I'm calling it quits. Now to move on for the last time I crank up my Sleeping With Sirens CD in my little ass radio. Kellin's scream gives me butterflies and with Chan not being here, I miss them but of course I don't want them from him again.