Something Like Summer

Epilogue- summer of 2014

I just finished my first year of junior high school! This year was so intense! There was so much going on! I had some problems with technology subject, but luckily somehow I managed to get a moderate grade at the end of the school year! This was my first year I didn't receive a diploma for good grades, but my average grade out of all subjects was still very good. I don't shy away from the fact that this year I focused more on my sociable life rather than studying. But it didn't really make me any worse. I still was one of the best students in the class, but I don't care. 

In March, exactly one year after I started dating Kasia, Catherine from the same school 2 years older than me started dating me. It just...turned out this way. We were chatting more and more since the beginning of 2014 and she told me she would like to be my girlfriend and I said yes! She's very nice! She participates in additional classes after lessons in the school library and sometimes I stay with her. That time around 3:30 PM there's almost no one at school at all, so we usually sit in the corridor, hug, and kiss each other! Once in a week, I see her at the bus stop. She lives on the outskirts of the city, while I live in the center so we live far away from each other. She's very jealous of Paulina, cause she sees us on the corridors during breaks and we spend a lot of time together, but I assure her all the time that Paulina is only a friend to me, nothing more. She's a very nice girl, sometimes we chat with each other about what we would do to each other if we were in bed together xd She once wrote she was dying to do a sexy pole dance for me. It all is really cool, but I don't think I feel the same for her. In the beginning, yeah, I felt it too. But now I'm not so sure. I have a lot of time to think about what I want right now, cause I'm out of my city. I spend the first half of the summer break at my father-in-law's old flat in another city. Yeah, my mother came back to Poland the last October and they live in Firefly Oasis together, few blocks away from grandad's. I decided to stay at grandpa's flat though! He's very chill, and generally, I can do whatever I want. Yeah, I cannot stay outside till 11 PM and if I start getting bad grades then I get grounded until I won't improve them. But besides that, he's really forgiving and lenient! Lately, I threw a party in my flat that...got out of control xd There were supposed to be only a few persons, instead, there were about 12. Some people got really drunk...but it was fun xd I felt so REBEL, haha! Right next to my stepfather's flat there is a small forest with a skatepark and alley inside. I like to go through there quite often. It's not like I have better things to do here. It's a small town. Yeah, it's summer and now there are a lot of persons my age outside, but I guess I'm too shy to just come to anyone. So I'm just spending my times playing games and watching movies or listening to music in living room on large plasma. The most played songs right now on tv music stations are: "Waves" from Mr. Probz, Iggy Azalea'z "Fancy", mundial hymn "We Are One (Ole Ola) from JLo&Pitbull, "Loved You More" from Blonde, 3LAU's "How You Love Me", "Am I Wrong", "This is How We Do" from Katy Perry, "First Love" from JLo and "Break Free"&"Problem" from this new singer Ariana Grande. But there is one song...that one song, I don't know why this particular song...but when I hear it everytime it reminds me of this one person. Everytime they play "I Wanna Feel" from Second City I think of Aaron Brzozowski. This song has that summer vibe and the music video is so easy-going with everyone having fun in it. Maybe this is because I think of Aaron whenever the song goes on...because he's so hot like a summer and easy-going! We haven't talked to each other since that September. We hadn't been meeting outside the school. Only shaking hands 'n' saying "hi" on corridors wasn't strong enough to maintain the relation. With time, we stopped doing even that and passing next to each other without saying anything. Like we never met. Like we never knew each other, but I remember and I tried to deny it so hard. Since the first time I met him. But when he stopped saying hi to me, this was the time when I realized. I realized that I'm in love with him. I miss him so much. I miss the times when he had been saying this stupid "hi" to me on corridors during the breaks. The next month it will have passed a 1 year since we met for the first time. And now...I need a miracle to renew contact with him. He totally forgot about me. We have each other as friends on Facebook. I mean, he's popular. He has a lot of friends. He didn't need a friend like me when we met these 2 times before the beginning of a school year, and he doesn't need me now. I'm checking his Facebook profile at least once every 2 days. He uploaded new photos lately. One photo is a selfie of him smiled confidently with his mate, under the tent, both without their t-shirts...on another photo, he sits with the same guy in the swimming pool. I don't have to say that looking at his pictures without his t-shirt on makes me weak...Maybe...I just didn't try hard enough to make him remember me. But I think I could be the one with whom he would spend his evening under the tent, not the other guy. But it's impossible. Anyway, it's over. Magdalena didn't feel the same to me. Beatrice...didn't feel the same to me. Damon would never look at me the same way as I looked at him. Sebastian was a hopeless case right from the start. Peter was too easy-going for me. And Cristian...never cared to even make friends with me. Now, I'm hooked on Aaron, but he also doesn't feel the same to me. No one is reciprocating my feelings. But I wish...just that one person, one day...to do that. Maybe it's just...not the right time. I really wish that Aaron could be the one...to love me. What is love? I don't even know. Anyway, he's just another person on my list who didn't "feel the same to me". I should have known right from the second I saw him that it would never work out. Now he doesn't even remember my name! It's over.