The Rising Moon

Self Doubt

                       Luka sat on a log watching as the ocean waves crash against the shore of La Push. Fear and worry swirled within her chocolate-colored eyes as raindrops began to fall upon her. After seeing the ultrasound of hers and Rosalie's baby, all kinds of fears filled her mind. One fear was that Rosalie wouldn't survive childbirth, and the other was fear of not being good enough for her child. Luka had no idea on how to be a good parent because she never had good parents in her life, until Esme and Carlisle came into her life. She had Nathan and Peter, but they were more like big brothers to her than fathers. Luka felt someone sit by her, but she didn't look at them, but their scent let her know it was Paul, her newest pack member. Paul had come to Luka for help a few months back about his temper. Luka slowly trained Paul on how to have restraint and methods to cool his rage. Luka saw that Paul was more than a hot-headed wolf during their time together and understood what it felt like to have a father who didn't want you. "I thought I would find you here after I heard the news," Paul said while watching the waves. Luka looks down at her hands, "Why did you run off?" Paul asked. "What if I'm not good enough? How can I be a good parent when I never had one?" Luka asked with a sad tone. Paul put a comforting arm around Luka and pulls her close, "By simply trying," Paul said. That night Luka returned home and changed out of her wet clothes. Luka found Rosalie lying on her side in their bed reading, so she slips in behind the beautiful blonde, wraps her arms around her waist, and pulls her close. Luka hides her face in Rosalie's back as she spooned her, and before she could try and apologize, Rosalie spoke up, "I forgive you; I knew you would come back to me," Rosalie said as she rubs Luka's arm.

                            A few days later, Luka sat by Bella as Carlisle gives her a check-up. Carlisle looks at an X-ray of the fetuses in Bella, "Her rib has cracked, but they're no splinters. They haven't punctured anything," Carlisle said. "Yet," Edward said as he stood with Jacob by the window, causing Luka to sigh. "Edward," Carlisle said in a warning manner, "they're breaking her bones now," Jacob said in anger. Edward looks at Bella, who was now looking extremely pale and sickly, "It's crushing you from the inside out. Carlisle, tell her what you told us. Tell her," Edward told Carlisle. Bella and Luka look to Carlisle, "Carlisle, tell me. It's alright," Bella said. "The fetuses are incompatible with your body. Their too strong; they won't allow you to get the nutrition you need. They're starving you by the hour, I can't stop them, and I can't slow them down. At this rate, your heart will give out before you can deliver," Carlisle told Bella, who grips Luka's hand for some comfort, and Luka squeezes hers back softly. "Then I'll hold on as long as I can and...," Bella said but was interrupted. "Bella, there are some conditions that even venom can't overcome. You understand? I'm sorry," Carlisle said. "Edward, Jacob, I'm sorry," Bella said in a sad tone, "We can't live without you," Edward said. "You won't. You're gonna have a part of me. They'll need you both," Bella said. "Do you honestly think that we could love them? Or even tolerate them if they killed you?" Jacob asked. "It's not their fault. You have to accept what is," Bella pleaded. "Because you've given us no choice! Bella, we're supposed to be partners, remember? But you decided this on your own; you've decided to leave us," Edward said in anger. "Don't see it that way!" Bella said, needing Edward and Jacob to understand. "Well, we have no other way to see it. Cause it's us who'll lose you, and we don't choose that. We don't choose that," Jacob said, then walks out of the room with Edward. Bella hides her face in Luka's shoulder and begins to cry as Luka rubs her back. "It will be ok, Bella, if the worst comes to pass, Rosalie and I will raise them," Luka said, causing Bella to look at her surprised. "You would do that? But Rosalie is pregnant with her own," Bella said. "And you're pregnant with my niece or nephew. I won't let them grow up without parents," Luka said. That night Rosalie and Luka laid on the couch together while watching an old black and white movie. Luka slowly rubbed Rosalie's stomach, "If it's a boy, what about the name Nathan?" Luka asked as Rosalie intertwined their fingers. "I think that would be a great idea. I'm sure he would have been proud to have your son share his name," Rosalie said, making Luka smile. Rosalie's stomach had grown bigger each day, along with her thirst to the point Luka had to hunt for Rosalie while she was feeding on one kill already.

                             The next night all the Cullen's and the pack sat around the living room as Jacob and Luka sat on either side of Bella to keep her warm as she looks like she's about to be sick. "We need to find a way to get some food into her system," Esme said. "If I could only see the fetuses," Alice said in a sad tone. "The babies," Rosalie and Luka said in announcing as they glared at Alice. "Maybe I could figure out what they want," Alice said while ignoring her sister's stares. Edward turns his gear toward Jacob, "I think you might be right. Jacob just had an idea," Edward said. "It wasn't an idea, more like a funny thought," Jacob said with a smile. "What were you thinking?" Carlisle asked. "That there probably just looking for someone to sink their teeth into," Jacob said. "He's thirsty," Bella said as she rubbed her stomach, "I know the feeling," Emmett said as Greyson rubs his arm. "If it's craving, it's not gonna want animal blood," Edward said. "I have some O negative laid aside for Bella," Carlisle said as he pours the blood into a cup for Bella to drink. Jacob sits up fast, "Wait! Wait! Wait! You're gonna make her drink that?" Jacob said in disbelief. "It's the fastest way to test the theory," Carlisle said, "Only if you're comfortable with it," Edward said in a comforting tone. "I'll try anything," Bella told Edward, "Just hold on," Edward said, then moved the blood into a cup with a straw and hands it back to her. "I think I'm gonna be sick," Jacob and Luka said in sync as they both look away.

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