Losers |H.S|

Chapter 9

*This is my favorite live performance of Kiwi*

I'm running.

Everything is dark around me. My feet hurt and my lungs are burning. I can't let him catch me.

I turn around to see how far he is from me but no one's there. How is it possible that I hear his footsteps so close to me but yet he's nowhere to be seen?

The air is cold and humid.

I can't see anything but dark asphalt in front of me. I can feel the cuts and scrapes at the bottom of my bare feet because of the textured dirty road. But I can't stop, I have to keep going.

Suddenly I'm sinking, I'm drowning in boiling water. But the water is not clear, it's red and thick.

And then I realise.

It's not water, it's blood. I'm drowning in a big pool of blood. It invades my nostrils and my mouth and I can't stop it.

I try to elevate myself to the surface, but as I look up to see how far it is I see no surface, no light at all. All I see is red.

I scream in despair and hope at the same time that anyone will listen, but more blood violates my already tired body.

I can't keep fighting, I'm too weak.

Maybe it's time to stop and let the blood consume me.

I'm tired of running all my life. I just need to stop.

I wake up from my nightmare with a sharp inhale and drenched in cold sweat. I turn my vision to the window and it's still pitch black outside. I check the digital clock on my nightstand and see that it's only 3 in the morning.

Fuck.

It's been a while since I had a vivid nightmare like the one that just woke me up. I'm still experiencing the aftershocks of it, my hands are shaking and my stomach is twisting.

I get out of bed with my whole body trembling now, cause I fear if I go back to sleep I'll just have the same nightmare. I make my way to the bathroom and turn on the shower. This time the water is cold, I need the iciness of it to calm that burning feeling inside of me that still hasn't left.

I don't soap my body, I just need the water to encircle me, to bring me back from the place I went while I was asleep.

Mrs Brooks, my therapist, had warned me last year that the bad dreams might appear again. That's why I tried to keep myself busy and tire my body to the extent that it would make me fall in deep sleep without any dreams, good or bad.

After a while my mind is completely back from its previous state, so I get out of the shower. Because of the time I can't put music on like I usually do when I wake up, and it's still too early to be awake. I have to sleep again cause I won't be able to function at work. But I have to strain my body first.

So I change into gym shorts and sports bra, connect my phone to my ears through my earbuds and let the sound of AC/DC fill my head. I go outside to my balcony and spot exactly what I need.

My punching bag is hanging in the middle of it with my elastic bandages waiting for me at the table near it. I fasten them tightly around my knuckles and stretch my neck from side to side, looking at the bag in front of me and flexing my fingers.

I throw one light punch at first followed by another a bit harder, and as the seconds pass my force increases and the bag starts to swing to the direction that I hit it everytime.