Inbetween

19 - Collateral Damage

Leo's P.O.V.:
After I exploded, literal meaning, I sort of blacked out. I felt dizzy and lost control over my legs, making me fall to the ground. My eyelids got heavy and when I woke up Tempus was nowhere to be seen.
Magnus was scanning his apartment, which had gotten destroyed, with a fancy drink in one hand and his other resting beneath the other elbow.
Memories from the moments before flashed in front of my eyes and a node built in my throat.

I sat up pulling my knees to my chest. My stomach turned around itself and I felt like throwing up.
I had no idea what had just happened, but I was afraid of whatever "it" was. The feeling, that was building up in my chest wasn't quite describable. It was a mix of horror, disgust, nausea and tiredness.
My limbs felt heavy and everything hurt.
What if Nicky and the rest saw me in that state?
What if the next time I lost control, I'd hurt people? W-what if I hurt Nicky? My eyes burnt which meant I was about to cry, but I the tears never came.
I began gasping for air. I was having a panic attack.

Suddenly Nicky and the rest bursted into the apartment. Nicky didn't hesitate and ran up to me.
My hands began shaking and in nervousness I began chewing my thumb.
"Leo!", Nicky screamed.
I lost it and snapped at him.
"Don't touch me!", I yelled my voice shaking pushing him back.
Nicky looked at me lost, exhausted and sad.
"L-Leo?", he desperately asked reaching for my hand.
"Don't...t-touch me, p-please N-", I replied almost begging him.
I wasn't ready to face him or anyone yet.

Alec immediately came towards me putting his jacket around me and helped me stand up.
He hugged me and the tears came. I couldn't control myself. Salty drops kept rolling down my cheeks and Alec kept telling me everything was fine. He stopped just once to  angrily stare Nicky to death. He just looked away sadly scratching his arm.
We then returned to the Institute on motorcycles after thanking Magnus and helping him tidy up.

The couple of days after, I spent in my room reading books looking for special powers and unique Shadowhunter inheritance. Every once and then someone knocked at my door, but words got lost in my throat. I hadn't gotten sleep for days or eaten a thing beside those nasty crackers Alec had left in my room. So basically I was rotting.

"L-Leo? I know you are there", Nicky said knocking at my door. I didn't get up or say anything
"I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now. And I know that I hadn't been there for you when you needed me and I clearly don't know how you must feel. B-but please talk to me. Please don't do this to me", he continued.
After hesitating for a second, I put down my book and somehow managed to get to the door. I grabbed the handle, my hands shaking. I couldn't do it.
"He needs a break. It's not your fault, Nicky. Whatever happened at Magnus apartment must've caused something in him. Don't worry, he will recover again", I heard Izzy saying in the hallway.
Nicky sighed one last time and left.

Isabelle's P.O.V.:
The next morning Leo walked into the library where we had assembled. He had huge eye bags and didn't look healthy at all but no one said something.
For a couple of minutes we just sat there awkwardly.
Even though Leo let Nicky hold his hand, he didn't glance at him or anyone once. His look was absent almost lost. Magnus had told us what happened, but no one had an explanation.
"Leo, we know what happened and know you must feel awful. But we still need to report to the clave. The silent brothers might know something. We will leave for the Silent City later. Maryse and Robert already know and agree with my decision", Alec broke the ice. Leo flinched once but didn't move or say anything.
"Y-You can't. Leo isn't ready yet and you are in no position to make conclusions and presumptions about him. He's been through so much and you want to take him to the Silent City?", Nicky then said when no one else disagreed with Alec. Not even Jace said anything against it. Nicky threw desperate eyes at Jace as in a call for help, but Jace just avoided eye contact.
"How do you know what's good for Leo, huh? Since you've arrived here you've only put Leo in danger over and over again. You are right, I shouldn't be decide whether he goes or not, but YOU", Alec snapped and pointed his finger at him, "don't have the right to decide or say anything. You've only been causing trouble and we wouldn't be in this situation if not for you. Stay. Out. Of. This."
"I-", Nicky replied and then said nothing.

So we went to the Silent City in a minivan.
Leo sat in the back next to Nicky. He didn't talk except for with Nicky. To me it was a relief, Alec on the other side was furious and kind of jealous.
When we arrived I noticed that Leo's hands were shaking. Who wouldn't be nervous when meeting the Silent Brothers the first time? They are creepy superior Shadowhunters with special runes engraved on their bodies. They don't talk to you directly, but through telepathy. Mind blowing crap, am I right?
Jace, Clary and I watched out for demons and stayed outside. Alec, Nicky and Leo left and entered the Silent City.

Alec's P.O.V.:
The Silent City was exactly as I remembered.
Old and creepy. I usually avoided the Silent City, but for Leo's sake I accompanied him and Nicky.
Nicky was like an annoying bug buzzing into your ears and you just want to crush its skull. I felt hatred towards him since the very beginning, but I tried to stay as calm as ever around him because of Leo.
I took a seraph blade, because it was pitch black.
Leo and Nicky were walking in front of me whispering. It made my blood boil, somehow. Everywhere were graves of carved into stonewalls.
"Here, only the bravest Shadowhunters are buried", I told them. In the distance you could hear the screams and agony from the cells in the dark depths. "Traitors of the clave and criminals are being held here and tortured until eternity. Or at least that's what the legend says", I continued. Maybe I shouldn't have since Leo got even more nervous.

We arrived after almost 15 minutes of walking in complete darkness.
It was a round room. The ceiling was some kind of a dome with a hole in the middle. Moon light shone into the room. The Silent Brothers stood at the sides of the round stone room. If it weren't for the creepy Silent Brothers that place would've been awesome to stargaze.
"Our welcome", one of the Silent Brothers said and it echoed in my head.
"Leo Lightwood, step closer".
Leo looked at Nicky and me with terror in his eyes.
"Don't worry, it'll be just fine. If you want, I'll hold you hand. There's nothing to worry about", Nicky said and smiled reassuringly. For the first time I didn't want to peel that warm smile off his face.
They stepped forward, Leo in the middle underneath the Mortal Sword and Nicky next to him holding Leo's hand.
The Silent Brothers began mumbling something in a foreign language and the Mortal Sword began lowering.
Leo looked one last time at Nicky and me.
The sword touched Leo's forehead with the tip of the blade and he gasped.
Not even seconds later the sword lifted itself and Leo would've fallen to the ground if Nicky hadn't caught him.
He was sweating and shaking everywhere gasping for air. His eyes rolled back into his head. Then it stopped and he fainted.

Authors' note:
yayyyyyyyyy another chapter :D
sarah and i hope you like it oof
it's kinda long haha
anywayssssssss bye <3