Save Me #1

37| New city

The days after Christmas went by without any exciting happenings. We watched countless of Christmas movies, much to the chagrin of Zach, but this point is not arguable for me. Christmas movies are my favorites and I watch loads of them every year. Period.

Apart from that, we took a few long strolls through snowy parks, and visited Jake on one evening. That's pretty much all we did.

Right now, it's Tuesday morning, one day before our trip starts, and I'm lying in bed next to a softly snoring Zach, unable to find back to sleep. I feel restless and to say I'm utterly excited would be an understatement. It's only 8am and I don't plan on waking Zach up since he can be a bit of a morning grouch.

After a few minutes of thinking what to do, I grab the old copy of 'The Hobbit' from my nightstand, which is now my copy, and sit up against the headboard of my bed. I haven't explored it further yet, so I start flipping through the book, looking for the other little surprises in it Zach mentioned on Christmas Eve. It doesn't take me long until I find a folded piece of paper between two pages. Curious what's awaiting me, I unfold it and find a handwritten message alongside a QR code. With an amused grin on my face, I start deciphering Zach's scrawl.

'As I watched you a few times going crazy to some Harry Styles songs while cleaning your apartment, I did some research and found a song which made me think about you. It's not exactly from Harry Styles but from One Direction... anyways, I guess it counts, right? ❤'

I giggle lowly at his note. That's the second time now he surprises me with a One Direction song which is kind of funny because most men don't even know about the British boy band. I eye the QR code for a moment, and a big grin finds its way to my lips at Zach's extraordinary idea. Who would've thought Zach could be that creative when it comes to giving gifts?

With my phone, I scan the code and plug in my earphones. When the song starts playing, I close my eyes and place the phone on my chest.

"Oh my god!" I mouth as I recognize the song right away.

🎶Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this mind, it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me

I know you've never loved
The crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly🎶

I used to listen to it a lot when I was around fifteen, and the funny thing is that I always wished for someone who would tell me all those sweet little things. Tell me that he loves all of me, even the things I dislike about myself. Tell me that he loves me unconditionally. Endlessly.

Zach hasn't exactly uttered those words yet, just as I haven't. I wonder when I will find the courage to tell him. To say, 'I love you'. I'm just scared that he won't say it back, like my toxic ex boyfriend, Alex. He was such a nice guy until the day I told him that I loved him. From then on, he was the biggest asshole you can imagine. He permanently called me names, made me feel really small, and eventually he started ignoring me when he didn't feel like having company. Until today, I have absolutely no idea why his behavior had changed all of a sudden.

It took me almost a year to muster the strength to break up with him. When I finally did, he started surprisingly showing up at my place, called me at least ten times a day, and tried to force me into going back together with him. At all costs. One night, he even sneaked in my apartment and I woke up next to him the next morning. That was the day I told him if he ever contacts me again, I will press charges against him. I don't know why, but somehow that had him on the run, and I haven't seen him once since then.