When I Look at You (TaeSana)

Chapter Four

Taehyung's POV 

It was another day of doing nothing in summer but to do chores that are already done. My friends live just half an hour away, I could go to them whenever I am bored but I chose not to. I'd rather annoy little Ms. Grumpy here. Grandma and Sa Ji are downtown again preparing things and papers needed for the harvesting time. The crops are still not in the season or moment to be harvested yet, but in the next month or maybe in the next few months it will be. I don't know I'm not sure. I don't quite pay a lot of attention to that.  

"Good Morning" Sana greeted as I got out of grandma's room. I sleep in her room whenever I feel like it. I don't know what I looked like, but I bet I am not what I was supposed to look like in front of Sana. For the first time, I got to see and hear her chuckle. 

I didn't know that someone's chuckle could be that calming. As if music to my ears. Well, I do love music that's a given. Who doesn't love music anyways? 

"What just happened," I asked and slapped myself to see if I am dreaming but I think I looked more like a fool on what just did. 

"Yeah, you look stupid. Come let's eat" I glanced at every dish on the table. There's kimchi, a spicy stewed fish, spicy instant ramen, plain rice, and of course, an egg roll. I moved my eyes from the dishes to hers. 

Why do I feel like there is really something wrong? I'd rather her be grumpy at me, I am not used to seeing her behave like this. As much as I want to repeat asking her what's happening, I offered her my silence, wanting her to speak herself, without being asked. 

We ate silently, awkward silence filled our surroundings. 

Why does it feel awkward? She's quiet as usual while I am quiet which is unusual. Well, who wouldn't be quiet in this kind of scene? I think it's not the time to put on my funny, crazy, and weird mode.

When we finished our meal, we both washed and dried the dishes together, still no one talking. 

Why is no one talking? It's so quiet that I can almost go deaf. 

After drying the dishes she placed down the bowls. I saw her from my peripheral vision that she made her way to the back door of the house, leading to the backyard where the chickens are and are a way to the cliff. 

I thought she was only going to feed the chickens but when she walks farther than needed that's when I realized that she's going to the cliff again. I need no words or instructions for me to follow her. I quietly followed her behind. 

When we got to the cliff Sana walked towards the tree and sat there, leaving me a space to sit next to her as if she knew from the start that I am following her. Well, I am not hiding though, that would look like I am some creepy fan stalker of hers. 

She breathed in and out multiple times and after seconds have passed that we're both sitting and just looking at the bright sky and nature's beauty. It is a good thing that the tree is big and wide, making its shade likewise. 

"Thank you" she suddenly spoke.  

"What?" I said wanting her to repeat it even though I heard it clearly. 

"I said thank you," she said hardly as if she was being forced to say it. Now there's the grumpy angel.

"Thank you for staying with me yesterday," My head quickly turned at her when she told me that. I think this is the most unexpected thing that ever happened in my entire life. Seriously? Sana thanking me would be one of the miracles and is completely next to impossible. 

"You see no one ever did that" she looked down at her hands, playing her fingers. 

"No one stayed like what you did. Every time that I have been keeping my distance from others they just let me be. You know people don't like drama, so basically, people also don't like me." she paused and looked at the clouds that look like a big size of cotton.

"Yes, I want an alone time where I can think of things by myself but yesterday when you decided to just sit here with me in silence. I realized that I want to be alone...but I needed somebody to be with me." from her hands she moved her gaze to me, making our eyes met that made me feel like I had those tingling sensations inside of me. Like what they called butterflies in the stomach. Is that it? But why would I feel that though? 

"I know it's kinda weird. Well, it is weird alright. I want alone time but I want someone with me? Is that even a thing?... but who cares I just want to thank you." she added and gulped looking away immediately. 

I don't know what this feels like but I could describe it as wonderful. You know that feeling when your friend or somebody opens up their pain to you and you feel happy because they trusted you with their personal problems. It's that wonderful feeling than winning a lottery. 

Why am I having mixed emotions right now? This day is full of strange feelings. 

"You're welcome?" I responded like it's a question, which I did on purpose. 

"Why does it sound like you're not sure?" she asked.

"Because I am not. I just stayed there for the view and the peace, why thank me" I said, just to lighten the atmosphere, not really meaning it. Her face quickly turned sour again. See? she's back to being her, now that's the Sana that I am used to. 

"Asshole" she whispered but I know she intentionally wanted me to hear that. I can't help but laugh it out while she is wearing her usual annoyed expression. 

We stayed there in silence once again, under that big tree's shade, with birds flying around and the sky in its most bright and beautiful form I'd ever seen.