Fighter-A Phan Story

Chapter Five

Dan made his first video since the incident two weeks after Phil had pulled him up off of the kitchen floor with a knife in one hand. He was motivated to do so by hearing Phil record his video and deciding that he'd left his subscribers with no updates for too long. So after the older one was done with the camera, Dan set it up and stood in front of it, suddenly nervous.

He wasn't supposed to be nervous. It was his job, after all.

"Hi guys," he began. He paused. No, he sounded too quiet, too timid. It was unlike him and unnerving.

Three hours later, Dan finished recording his video. It wasn't superb or anything, but decent. He'd decided to leave out the fact that he'd almost died, was a victim of depression, and that Phil had been sleeping in his bed and making sure that he was alright for the past two weeks. There were just some things that viewers shouldn't know and wouldn't accept.

Of course, they were all coming up with their own theories, saying  that Dan had quit YouTube and moved on to better things, that his Internet connection was out, that he was deathly ill...

Which, depending on how anyone looked at it, Dan was ill. The thoughts of cutting and suicide hadn't subsided completely, but ever since Phil was closer to him and speaking to him as if he was a real person, not some suicidal freak, he was beginning to ease out of his daily routine of cutting.

Dan didn't want Phil to know that he was getting a little bit better. He didn't want him to stop sleeping in his bed with him. Dan looked forward to seeing that beautiful smile every morning when they woke up. He couldn't explain why he had the urge to wrap his arms around Phil and pull him as close as they could get. He couldn't explain why he had the want to lie him down and kiss him. He couldn't explain why he loved cuddling up with him so much in bed. 

Whether he wanted to or not, Dan had feelings for Phil.

It had started so subtly, with little things like him finding himself staring at the older one and touching him for one extra second when he could. Then it moved onto things like Dan being extremely conscious of everything he did around Phil and finding himself biting his bottom lip every time he looked at him. And now, all the brunette wanted to do was to have him, hold him, love him, and keep him.

After editing and uploading the video, Dan laid in bed next to Phil, this time facing each other.

"Dan?" Phil whispered, looking at him.

The younger one opened his eyes, looking into Phil's blue ones in response.

"I'm proud of you," he told the brunette.

Then, tilting his head up, Phil kissed the other male on the nose. Then he rolled over and pulled Dan's wrists to his face like he did every night.

Instead of feeling Dan's rhythmic heart beating against his back, he felt Dan's heart pounding quickly.