Ness as Parents- New Girl Fanfiction

The Perfect Thanksgiving

  "I FORGOT THE FREAKING CRANBERRY SAUCE!!" Jess screams from the kitchen. Nick braces himself, and heads in to see what's going on.
   "Hey Jess, you doing ok?" He hesitantly approaches her, rubbing her tense shoulders.
   "Yes, I'm doing perfectly fine here. Cece, Schmidt, Ruth and her boyfriend what's-his-name, Jacob, Winston, Aly, Dan Bill, Charles, Malachi, Ava, and Lucas, my mom and Patrick, and my dad and Priscilla, your mom, Schmidt's mom and Susan, Schmidt's dad- who I can never forgot I made out with, Cece's mom, Winston's mom, and Aly's mom and dad are all coming to our house for thanksgiving, AND I FORGOT THE CRANBERRY SAUCE!!" Jess screams, and Nick takes a nervous step back.
   "Can I do anything to help?" He tentatively questions, concerned.
   Jess sighs, and sets down the potato peeler. "Could you get cranberries from the grocery store before everyone comes?"
   "Of course honey," Nick pecks Jess quickly on the cheek, and goes into the hallway to grab his coat from the hanger.
   Jess furiously returns to her potato peeling, her forehead crinkling in concentration.                                                                                                    
                                      ***
   "Ding dong!" Jess' head jerks up, and she abandons the pot of cranberries.
   "Coming!" She yells, and races over to the front door, wiping her hands on her thanksgiving themed apron.
   "Jujube!" Joan exclaims the second Jess lets her in.
   "Mom! How are you??" Jess grins and leans into her engulfing hug.
   "Oh darling, I missed you so much!" Joan finally releases Jess, wiping a tear from her eye.
   "Mom are you crying??" Jess stares quizzically at Joan, who shrugs.
   "I just haven't seen you in so long, I'm getting emotional!" Joan reaches for an additional hug, and Jess laughs and complies.
   "Everyone else will be here soon, so just make yourself comfortable." Jess takes Joan's coat, and is about to head back to the kitchen, when she hears a squeal from the living room.
   "Is everything okay??" Jess asks with concern, waking over.
   "Oh it's fine, sweetie! I was just looking at all the pictures hanging here," Joan explains, pointing to the mantle. "This one is just the cutest thing ever!" Joan admires the framed photo that's front and center. Jess is standing at the edge of a beautiful cliff, with Nick holding Frances on her left, and Reggie on her right. She's wearing bright purple hiking pants, and her arms are around both of them, a beaming smile stretching across her face. Next to that picture is their framed wedding photo, with Jess and Nick grinning hugely with their interlocked hands in the air.
   "Oooo, I like this one too!" Joan peers at another framed photo of Jess and Nick.
   "I love that picture! And the memory that comes with it..." Jess smiles, looking at the sparkling ocean behind them.
   "Why is that pretty blue two-piece so ripped?" Joan questions in confusion. "And Nick's shirt is so dirty! Where were you guys??"
   "Oh, well, funny story. We were in Mexico..." Jess trails off, and awkwardly escapes back to the kitchen. Just then, Reggie and Frances come bounding out of their rooms.
   "Grammy!" Frances squeals, and rushes into Joan's arms.
   "Frances, you're so big! Before I know it, you're going to be all grown up!" Frances giggles, and burrows her face in Joan's pant leg. Joan beckons Reggie to join the hug ball, and he scampers over.
   "And Reginald, you are becoming such a fine young man," she coos, and scruffs up his already messy brown hair. Soon enough, Frances pulls Joan into her room to show off her newest craft project, and Reggie starts to watch the Thanksgiving football game.
                                     ***
   "Ding dong!" Jess answers the door, and is immediately flocked by the Bishop family. She hugs Winston and Aly, and fist bumps Dan Bill.
   "Hi Charmaine!" Jess smiles cheerily, and hugs Winston's mom. "Hi Arman and Kyra, it's so nice to see you!" She adds, and also hugs Aly's parents.
   "Girl, you're like some sort of hug goddess," Winston laughs and scoops up Ava from where she's hiding behind his legs, over-stimulated from the commotion.
   "Jess, it looks like you have a lot on your plate, do you need some help with the food?" Aly asks, eyeing the array of bowls and pans strewn across the kitchen counter.
   "Thank you, but I have to decline that offer. Schmidt already tried to force himself into the cooking process, and I said no to him, so I have to say no to you. I am determined to prepare the whole meal all by myself." Jess insists.
   "Even though she desperately needs help with her technique for the truffle mashed potatoes! She lacks the proper deportment that I so clearly have." Schmidt adds from where he's watching the game with Nick, Reggie, Winston, Dan Bill, Jacob, Bob, and Gavin.
   "Uh huh, Schmidt," Jess roles her eyes.
   While the guys watch football, Joan, Bonnie, Louise, and Charmaine sit in the dining room chairs, knitting.
   "So, how is Chicago? The Windy City!" Joan asks Bonnie excitedly.
   "Oh, um.... it's good," Bonnie chuckles, still not entirely used to Joan's enthusiasm.
   "And you're from New York, if I remember right," Joan turns to Louise, who's trying to untangle her baby blue yarn.
   "Long Island, son!" Schmidt declares from the living room, overhearing their conversation.
   "Mm hm," Lousie glances up briefly, but then returns to her knitting. 
   "Do you like it there?" Joan continues, attempting to engage with Louise.
   "No, I've lived there for 47 years, and I don't like it," Lousie responds sarcastically, and Joan frowns slightly.
   Nick gets up from the couch, heading into the kitchen to get a quick snack. When he enters, Bob is already there, spreading mayo on two slices of bread. Bob nods in acknowledgement when he sees Nick, and scoots over to make room.
   Once Bob finishes with the mayonnaise, he hands it to Nick, who grabs bread from the fridge. Nick is about to add the meat and cheese, when he feels Bob's piercing gaze. Nick looks up at him, raising his eyebrows.
   "How are you gonna make that sandwich?" Bob asks intensely, staring sharply at him.
   Nick has a look of almost pure terror on his face, but he gulps loudly and answers, "Lettuce, tomato, lettuce, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, cheese, lettuce. It's how a very wise sandwich genius once told me to do it, and I've made it that way ever since."
   "Come here, son," Bob hugs Nick, who's confused at first, but then hesitantly hugs him back. Bob pats him on the back a few times, before heading back to the living room. Nick, stunned but smiling slightly, returns to his sandwich. Once Nick heads back to finish watching the game, Reggie's scrambles onto his lap.
   "Hey buddy, you liking the game so far?" Nick asks, scruffing up Reggie's hair until it matches his own messy brown curls.
   "Ya, we're winning right?" Reggie looks up at his dad, wide-eyed.
   "You bet we are!" Nick exclaims, high-fiving Reginald. Bonnie and Joan look over at Nick and Reggie, both smiling without realizing it.
   Bonnie gets up to get a tissue, and when she passes Nick, she whispers, "Your dad would have been very proud of you. Walt always knew you would be a great father." Nick looks up at her with surprise, and grins.
   "Thanks, ma. He would have loved this game, we're crushing them!" Bonnie smiles and pats Reggie on the head.
   "Grandma, look, we're winning!" Reggie declares cheerfully.
   Bonnie passes the kitchen on her way back, and she peeks in to see Jess hard at work.
   "How's my favorite daughter-in-law?" She asks, smiling.
   "Oh hey, Bonnie! What about DeAnn? She seems really nice," Jess turns to Nick's mom.
   "Oh, she is, and Jamie really loves her, but you know you have a special place in my heart." Bonnie leans in and hugs Jess tightly. 
   "Be careful, there's probably mashed potatoes on my apron." Jess warns, but hugs Bonnie back.
   "Well, I'll leave you to your cooking!"  Bonnie smiles, and walks back to where Joan is basically begging to help untangle Louise's yarn.
   "Please, Louise? I have very nimble fingers!" Joan continues to pester, reaching for the yarn.
   "No!" Louise said sharply, and slaps Joan's hand away.
   "As the snow flies, on a cold and grey Chicago mornin'. A poor little baby child is born," Bonnie sings softly to herself.
   "In the ghettoooo," Joan joins in, abandoning her attempts to help Louise.
   "You know Elvis?"  Bonnie asks, surprised.
   "Of course, he's the king!"  Joan states matter-of-factly.
   "Did Jess ever tell you how she sang Elvis at Walt's funeral?" Questions Bonnie with a soft smile.
   "What?! No, she never mentioned that!" Exclaims Joan, shocked.
   "Yep! It was the first time I had met her, and she completely turned his funeral around. No one asked her to, but she came out dressed like Elvis, and put on the heck of a performance," Bonnie laughs. "She was there for everyone... especially Nick." Bonnie gazes into the living room at Nick and Jess' wedding photo.
   "That's my Jujube, always looking out for others," Joan says proudly. "Speaking of pop stars, did you know Jess sang and danced with Prince at his party??"
   "Nicky went to a Prince party too!"  Bonnie informs excitedly.
   "Guys, we were at that party together!" Nick explains from the living roo.
   "Well I mean, Cece and I were invited, but you snuck in," Jess giggles, entering the dining room to set the table.
   "Only to tell you I didn't love you!" Nick laughs.
   "What?!" Bob exclaims, glaring at Nick.
   "Long story," Nick mumbles, and reaches over the couch to give Jess finger guns. Jess cracks up, and pretends to faint.
   "What the heck is going on??" Bonnie looks between Nick and Jess and confusion.
   "Those weirdos..." Joan smiles, and Bonnie rolls her eyes affectionately.
   "The food will be ready in about 10 minutes," Jess declares. "Reggie, can you finish setting the table?"
                                      ***
   "Jess, I have to admit, these mashed potatoes are pretty good," Schmidt reluctantly compliments.
   "Thanks, Schmidt! So I did have the proper de-por-teh," Jess brags in a cocky manner.
   "Even Ruth is better at French than you, and she's only been taking it for two years," Schmidt scolds Jess haughtily.
   "Well, Ruth is actually very good at new languages," Eli speaks up, slightly hesitant.
   "Just because you're dating my daughter, doesn't mean you know everything," Schmidt says, his words laced with venom. Eli cowards back down, fidgeting uncomfortably.
   "Schmidt! Don't be rude," Cece glares at him, and turns to Eli. "Don't listen to him, we're really glad you're here."
   "Thanks," Eli smiles softly and squeezes Ruth's hand, and Schmidt has to physically restrain himself from kicking him under the table. 
   "I bet he doesn't even know that Ruth won the Ella Jane Tersky Distinctive Youth Award," Schmidt mumbles, still staring daggers at Eli.
   "Dad!" Ruth exclaims in embarrassment.
   "So, at least my dad told me he couldn't make it this time, instead of just bailing," Winston comments.
   "That's a big step though! How has keeping in contact with him been?" Jess asks, passing the green bean casserole to Louise.
   "Actually, he wanted to go get brunch next week at that new cafe near the park."
   "Wow, that's great, Winston! Are you going to go??" Jess looks to him expectedly.
   "Yes. Yes, I'm going to go," Winston lets out a breath, like the decision had been weighing down on him for some time.
   "Awww, I'm so glad," Jess smiles, and raises her glass. "I think this is our first perfect Thanksgiving!"
   "Don't jinx it!" Dan Bill buts in, and knocks on the wooden table.
   "Wow, I think you're right!" Winston agrees.
   "The first thanksgiving we all had together was definitely an... interesting start." Cece grins with nostalgia.
   "Why, what happened?" Bonnie asks.
   "Well the turkey burned and filled the whole loft with smoke..." Schmidt starts with a wry smile.
   "That doesn't seem too bad," Joan inputs.
   "-And then we decided to go to our neighbor's house because apparently she was away, and when we got there..." Jess continues, lowering her voice to add a flair of dramatics.
   "She was..." Winston finishes, making a chopping off head motion with his hand, and sticking out his tongue.
   "What?!" Bob exclaims, raising his bushy eyebrows.
   "And that Paul guy was a total nut job!" Nick exclaims abruptly, and everyone turns to look at him.
   "Nick had some tension with Paul, who I invited to spend thanksgiving with us," Jess explains, squeezing Nick's hand under the table.
   "Was he your boyyyyyfriend?" Reggie asks, drawing out the word in a silly voice.
   "He was a weirdo, that's what," Nick adds, crossing his arms and giving his signature turtle face.
   "Ok, I think we get it Nicolaus, you were jealous of all of Jess' boyfriends because you have always been in love with her, yada yada yada," Schmidt rolls his eyes and stuffs a forkful of turkey in his mouth.
   Nick smiles bashfully, and Joan lets out a high pitched squeal of happiness. Bonnie gives her an apprehensive side eye, but then smiles at Jess.
   "Mom, retrain yourself!" Jess lectures jokingly, shaking her head at Joan.
   "I'm sorry, but you guys are so cute! Nick, by the way, I forgive you for breaking my daughter's heart." Joan reaches across the table and takes Nick's hand. Nick looks over at Jess, and she shrugs.
   "Oh, um... thanks I guess," Nick mumbles awkwardly, and Bob rolls his eyes.
   "Oh my gosh! Mom, dad, do you guys remember the second Thanksgiving??" Jess exclaims, turning to her parents.
   "We definitely do, sweetie," Joan replies, sharing a look with Bob.
   "Jess tried to get me and Joan back together." Bob explains to Priscilla, and she laughs.
   "Jess' classic Parent Trap," Cece shakes her head with a grin.
   "That one was not as bad as the next year though," Nick groans.
   "We, aka me, decided to celebrate Thanksgiving like the pilgrims, and Jess ate a dead fish and had to go to the hospital," Nick covers his face, and Schmidt laughs.
   "Nick and I were dating, and Nick wanted to be all manly and hunt for the food," Jess teases Nick with a grin.
   "Well, now I'm super manly. I play princesses with Frances, and I even learned how to sew clothes," Nick jokes.
"And the year after that, Schmidt insisted on inviting some... friends, which did not go as planned," Jess hesitates, before adjusting to go for the kid appropriate version.
   "Especially for you, Lady Oven Mitts," Nick teases. "But as a very wise person once said, 'Life moves pretty fast. And if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Jess smiles and looks around, gazing at everyone eating and laughing.
   "Remember that year we all took that... funny plant, and ended up trying to have a coronation for Furgeson?" Jess giggles.
   "RIP," Winston looks upwards.
   "And the last thanksgiving in the loft wasn't the worst, but it definitely didn't go as planned," Nick notes.
   "Oh my gosh remember our first thanksgiving not in the loft?? It certainly left a mark," Jess looks pointedly at Schmidt.
   "I didn't know my head was that hard, ok!" Schmidt defends himself.
   "You've got to admit, it left a pretty cool hole in the wall," Winston remarks.
   "A big hole from your big head," Nick teases Schmidt.
   "And a big hole in our wallet..." Cece rolls her eyes.
   "And then there was the thanksgiving when me and Jess moved in, right?" Nick ponders.
   "I had to throw away those brand new slacks!" Schmidt exclaims, fuming. "All because Nick thinks he's some sort of magic handyman, while in reality he's like a donkey and solenodon hybrid with a hammer," Schmidt scoffs.
   "Woah, it's not my fault the table leg broke in the moving truck! I thought I fixed it..."
   "Well that didn't stop the leg from breaking again mid meal, sending the entire contents of our thanksgiving sliding right into yours truly," Schmidt sends a withering glare in Nick's direction.
   "I thought you had forgiven me for that!" Nick exclaims, exasperated.
   "Some things can never be forgiven, Nicholas. Those were Calvin Klein's!"
   "Ok, well what about that time at Winston and Aly's place, Winston wouldn't let me sit at the table and eat with everyone because my seat was 'reserved for Nafta'?!" Nick accuses, and turns to Winston. "You wouldn't let me sit next to my pregnant wife!"
   "What can I say, Nafta was feeling left out," Winston shrugs nonchalantly.
   "I had to sit at the kids table, with Ruth!" Nick groans.
   "Watch it, or you'll never see it coming..." Ruth hisses at Nick.
   "You have created a demon child," Nick says to Cece with a shiver.
   "Like she said, watch it, mister," Cece glares at Nick.
   "Teaming up on me, not fair..." Nick mumbles, pouting slightly.
   "Mom, can you pass the mashed potatoes?" Jess asks Joan, and she hands them over.
   "Well, as Jess once said, 'They weren't always perfect, but they were memorable.'"
   Jess raises her glass in a toast, and everyone follows suit. "To friends, family, and thanksgiving!"