Together... Forever? (TOMMYINNIT ANGST)

4. House, Not Home Pt. 1

TW: Panic attack, ED, Purging

CW: Cursing

Tommy's POV

This was just terrifying, the worst part I've only been here for a few minutes and I already fucked it. All I do is screw everything over, for me, and for Tubbo. God I'm such a horrible brother. If only I had bared with the heat that day, it wasn't even that hot. If I hadn't been so pushy, mother would still be here, father wouldn't have laid a hand on me or Tubbo, and we would've been a happy family, but I screwed it up. The voices were right, I should have listened to them.

Huh? I can't breath. I started hyperventilating. Not now, not in front of Tubbo, not in front of this Wilbur guy. I've done so well. I started crying, no no no no no, stop crying you big baby! I fell to the ground, holding my neck. I started scratching, hoping for something to happen. Nothing did, the voices started flooding my mind again, telling me how worthless I am, that I'm no use to Tubbo, how I'm never going to be happy, find happiness, or peace. Why is this happening right now, I'm supposed to protect Tubbo. Wait. Where is Tubbo? Wait! He's going to get hurt, this is bad. I tried to stand up, wobbled, fell, and fainted.

Wilbur's POV

What the hell is going on? I just stood there watching Thomas look at me in pure terror. In 5 minutes, things had escalated so much. Then he started hyperventilating and crying, I knew this process all too well, I had these too. So did techno, but better. Apparently Tubbo didn't, cause he got really worried. Thomas fell to the ground and started scratching his neck. Oh god, this was really bad, I haven't experienced that before but I have read about it. What do I do? This was making me panic as well. I remembered my breathing steps and calmed down. Then Thomas stood up, if he recovered, he was good, but then he wobbled and collapsed. I caught him just before he hit his head, he fainted. I could hear Tob- Tubbo, calling at Tommy to wake up and asking if he was alright. Then he started hitting and kicking me, telling me to let go of... Tommy? Is that his nickname? Probably. "I can't do that, sorry Tubster." I said trying to calm the situation, but I had said something wrong, he started crying and hitting harder, "DON'T YOU CALL ME TUBSTER, ONLY TOMMY CAN CALL ME THAT YOU IMPOSTER" Tubbo yelled at me. Oh, this was starting to hurt. "I can't Tubbo, we need to get him to a couch or bed so he can rest, can you trust me until then?" I pleaded. Tubbo calmed down a bit and grumbled a 'fine' to me.

We walked into the house and I saw Phil sitting on a chair at the kitchen island, head in hands. "Hey dad!" I greeted, trying my happy tone, he looked up and saw Tomathy in my arms. "Oh my god! What the hell happened, why is he fainted! What's wrong with his neck too!" Phil gasped. "I'll explain in a sec, can I put him on the couch for now?" I asked. Phil nodded and went to Tubbo. "Hey, Tubbo, bud, you alright? Why are you crying." Phil asked. Tubbo just shook his head and looked at Thomas. I set him down on the couch and Tubbo immediately went to Thomas to hold his hand.

I pulled Phil to the side to talk to him, "hey dad, uh so, after you left, Thomas continued to protect Tubbo, but then he started getting a panic attack, except, it's kinda worse, he started scratching his neck, probably thinking it could help him breath, then he tried to get up and he fainted." I explained. "We should just leave them there, I don't think we can get them to trust us, we just have to wait for them to trust us on their own, which would most likely be difficult, so we should just be patient with them. I won't be sending them to school yet so they can settle in a bit more." Phil sighed. I nodded and we went our separate ways, but before I went to the stairs, Phil pulled me into a hug. "I love you, you know that Wil? Thanks for helping out, sorry you had to see that scene, I know how you feel." Phil whispered. I hugged back, thankful for Phil. I went upstairs and into my room, then I started to play my guitar, hoping to calm down from the recent events.