Chapter 23

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Parker's POV

White. All I see is white. The ceiling, the floor, the walls are all white. All white like snow.

I'm in a beautiful, lace dress that reminds me of the wedding dress my mom wore on her wedding day. It hugs my body perfectly.

I start to walk forward looking for a way out of this mysterious place.

"Parker," I hear and whip around to see Mitch standing there. "Parker please wake up."

"Please Parker. Wake up for us. The baby!" This time it's Jerome. He is standing a few feet away from Mitch and he's wearing a tuxedo. It's similar to the one my father's wore on his wedding day.

"Please Parker think of us! Think of the baby!" They say simultaneously.

They slowly disappear and I'm surrounded by light this time instead of white. The light gets brighter and brighter until the ends of my dress catch on fire. Slowly the ends burn off. My arms are coated in dark red blood. Ripping the sleeves, it reveals deep cuts all the way from my wrist to elbow. Warm tears rush down my face as I collapse. Soon the fire engulfs me and I scream.

I sit up quickly, gasping for air and sweat covering my forehead. Realizing it was only a nightmare, I look around the all too familiar room. I'm in the hospital again.

No one is in the room but several jackets and hoodies cover the few chairs directly across from my bed signaling someone was here.

I don't even remember why I'm here. I don't remember anything after Mitch finding out I'm pregnant. Oh my god. The baby! Did something happen to it? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I lost it.

I lean back into the lumpy pillows and wait for someone to come into my room and tell me what happened.

Soon a doctor walks in looking down at a clipboard. He looks up and jumps, I guess not expecting me to be awake.

"You're awake!" he exclaims.

"No duh," I remark with a smile.

The doctor chuckles before speaking again. "I'm Doctor Lynn. Do you remember why your here?"

I shake my head trying to remember but I can't.

"You were brought in by a young man who I believed said he was your brother. You were bleeding heavily with what we guessed were self harm cuts up and down your arms."

I look down at my arms which are heavily bandage from my wrist to elbow. silence fills the room as some of my memories from that night comes back.

"You could have bled out. You are lucky your brother found you when he did. Soon some therapists will be coming up to talk to you. We have requested you start taking therapy to help you. You may not have meant to, but what you did is considered a suicide attempt," Dr. Lynn tells me.

I feel like I'm going to throw up. Tears well up in my eyes, and try to replay the events of that night.

"How's the baby?" I ask, the baby being the only thing I care about.

The doctor gives me a grim look before speaking. "You do still have the baby but it is very likely that the baby will be born with a birth defect or congenital disease. For example, the baby could need a heart transplant or heart surgery very soon after birth, you could miscarry or the baby might be a stillborn, or they might not live more than a day."

"Is there any chance that the baby would be okay? Like nothing wrong with it?" I ask hopeful.

"We don't know anything for certain yet so there is a slight possibly the baby will be perfectly normal or healthy. It's like a .1% chance though so don't count on it," Dr. Lynn says.

I nod and let tears slowly fall from my eyes. I've cry way too much for one individual. I didn't know I had this many tears.

"How long has it been since the incident?" I question.

"It's been about three weeks."

"Three weeks? That long?"

"You lost a lot of blood. You went into a coma to limit the use of blood. (A.N. I don't even know if that would happen. I am in no way a doctor.)

Three weeks. Three weeks of being disconnected from the world.

"I'll go see if I can find your brother and I'll send him up if I do," the doctor say before walking out the door.

I examine the bandages on my arms. They're thick and white with IVs coming out of them. I can't believe I let this happen. I didn't mean to die. I don't want to die. I got carried away. Now I seem like a psychotic pregnant lady.

Soon Mitch walks in followed by Quentin and Adam.

"Oh my god. You're awake," Mitch mutters before running up and hugging me.

"Yeah, because I totally couldn't tell," I joke.

He chuckles before hugging me tighter.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you weren't or if the baby wasn't. This was my fault. if we wouldn't have had the fight you wouldn't have done this."

"Mitch it isn't your fault. I did this to myself." I'm not entirely sure what to say so I decide to reassure him.

He nods before releasing me and sits in the chair next to my bed before grabbing my hand.

"Where's Jerome?" I ask.

Mitch glances between Quentin and Adam before looking at me with sadness in his eyes.

"He left. After he found out you were okay, he left and we don't know where he is. We have tried calling but he won't answer."

I feel the tears start to well in my eyes but I refuse to let myself cry over him.

"You were right. He left me. He doesn't want a family. He doesn't want me anymore." I whisper.

"Parker, maybe he just wants to think."

I shake my head before whispering, "I thought he loved me, but I was wrong."

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Sorry it's late! I was writing during the Oscars and I got distracted. Oops.

Have a great day! Hope you enjoyed! Stay warm if you're in a place where it's like -100 degrees. I haven't gone to school in like a week because of the cold. I miss my friends :(

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