The Last Step (a Matthew Espinosa fanfiction)

Chapter 2: Never alone

Mandy was my best friend. We went through everything together. I had grown up with her since I was little. Our mom's were best friends before her's become a drug addict. Our lives were similar. But she was actually successful, she was popular. She cheered for the crappiest cheer team in town. Our high school. But all the guys loved her, she was so pretty. She had long brunette hair and dark green eyes, almost a glimmering emerald color. She was tall and skinny and had the best personality. Every boy was after her. As for me, I'm the complete opposite. I'm short and have muscular legs and arms. My hair is blonde, thin, and super long. I had brown eyes and barely a personality. But, Mandy brought out the best in me and when I was around her I felt like someone actually cared.

I remember the worst day of my life. The day I lost her. No one knew why she decided to go, and nobody knows to this day. But that day will be forever seared in my brain. I'd just woken up from a long night before of crying and cutting. Blood was all over me and I was on the bathroom floor. Mandy and I had gotten into a huge fight, and it didn't end well. I was afraid she had woken up the same as I did, so I texted her. No response. She usually responded quickly, within a few minutes at least. But hours had gone by and I was getting worried. So I called her, no answer.

A little while later I had decided to go to her house. She had a nice house, her father was a banker. It was a big, blue, Victorian style house. It was honestly the most beautiful piece of work I had ever seen. Her father built it, along with her mother when their marriage was still young. Mandy and I had so many memories in this house, from playing barbies to throwing some of the sickest parties when her dad was out of town. But no matter what happened, we always had fun.

Once I got to the house I noticed not many lights were on. Her dad's car wasn't in the driveway so I assumed he wasn't home. Usually Mandy has all the lights on when she was home alone because she got scared easily, even during the day. I knocked on the door and waited a few seconds, nobody came. I rang the doorbell, nobody came. I started to get worried so I grabbed a key from under the mat. I previously knew where this was because Mandy often had panic attacks and would lock herself inside her house and never answer the door. So, she showed me where the spare key was incase I needed to get in and help her.

I opened the door and heard music playing in her room. I felt relieved but then I listened closely to the music. It kept skipping over and over with the same line playing. It was a song by Lana Del Ray named Body Electric and the words "I pretend I'm not hurt, I walk about the world like I'm having fun" go on repeat. I panic and run upstairs to her room.

I can't quiet remember what happened next, it was all such a blur. I remember my best friend lying on the floor covered in blood with a gun laying near her. Her beautiful face mangled like it was hit by bomb. Her arms full of new wounds still leaking blood. Her hair lying perfectly on the ground almost as if it was meant to be in that spot. I saw a note on her bed and through the midst of seeing this I slowly walking over her deformed body to the note. I can recite it like lines from a script.

'I'm sorry you've found me like this. It must be a sight to see. I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't believe this is the end. I hope Amelia finds me, not because I want her to see me like this, but because I want her to read this. Alright here it goes. Dear Am, I'm sorry for doing this. I know I am being completely selfish but I can't take this world anymore. We got in a big fight last night and it was my fault. I hope you weren't too upset. I'm going to miss you dearly, but don't worry I will always be with you. I can't cause you anymore pain. I love you more than anyone could ever love another. But I need to go. Tell my dad I love him so, and if you ever see my mom. Tell her I love her just as much. See you in heaven my darling.
Mandy'

I set the note down and laid beside my best friend. The blood didn't gross me out, the burnt skin didn't gross me out, her adjacent body didn't gross me out. I just wanted to be with her. I talked to her for awhile and then I heard her dad come in. I stopped the record and walked downstairs. I told her dad everything and he started to freak out.

I told him not to go up and to just call an ambulance. I told him that she loved him and that this was for the best in her eyes. I don't know why I didn't cry or scream or fall to my knees. I guess her spirit guided me in those slow motion moments. The days that followed were so tough. The weeks that followed were tougher. Everyday I thought about her.

I was laying in my room moments after the accident with my mom happened. Blood was all over my face. It was on my clothes, on my arms, my hands. But blood was confronting to me. It reminded me I was alive and that feeling gave me life. I was laying on my bed when I heard a tap at my window. I slowly got up and walked over there. I looked out the window and immediately tears came streaming down my eyes.

My best friend stood there in front of me with the biggest smile on her face, and her arms held out wide.