The Last Step (a Matthew Espinosa fanfiction)

Chapter 7: Nerves

I had decided to ride my car to school the past few days and I really liked it. Driving scares me, so I prefer to ride the bus most of the time.

I walked out to my car and loaded all my stuff into it. I climbed in and sat in my seat. I put the keys in the ignition followed by putting my hands on the steering wheel. I started to panic. I starting thinking about crashing and what my mom would do if I did end up dying. Based on previous events, she wouldn't give a shit. But now, our relationship is somewhat healed. Would my dad care?

He's been gone for so long, and I don't know when he's coming back. I just have a bad feeling it's not soon. That's when I start to think about Mandy, I would be reunited with her. I could tell her how much I missed her. I could talk to her about anything.

I suddenly heard a knock on the window and saw it was Matthew. I wiped the tears from my face and smiled at him.

"Where you just crying?" He asked, changing his expression. Of course I wanted to pour my feelings out to him, even though I know I couldn't. It had been almost 3 weeks since he moved here, but I still feel like I barely know him. We haven't really hung out since we first met. We texted every so often, which led me to think if he was talking to someone else. Which of course, made me more upset.

"No? Why would I be crying?" I laughed it, off trying to be as nonchalant as possible.

"I know we haven't known each other for that long, but I can tell something's up."

"Nothing's up."

"Amelia..." He was pushing it too far. I understand he wants to know what's wrong, and I feel he's genuine about it. But this isn't exactly the ideal place to talk about my somewhat suicidal thoughts.

"Don't worry about it. So when are you picking me up again?" I try to change the subject to something I'm actually looking forward to.

"8. I can't wait, you're going to have so much fun, I promise." He smiles. His smile is so beautiful. The way his mouth slightly opens and the crinkles around his eyes stand out is just the most outstanding thing you'll ever see.

"Want a ride home? I've got room." I smile and pat the seat beside me.

"Hell yeah!" He walks around my car and hops into the passenger seat. I watch him carefully. His graceful moves and the way his smiles at me brings a feeling to me I didn't know was possible. I hope he doesn't notice me staring at him all the time.

"Matthew.." I see he hasn't buckled his seat belt and it opens up the perfect opportunity for me to sing this embarrassing little song my dad would always sing to me.

"What?! And quit calling me Matthew, it's way too formal." I ignore his wish and burst into song.

"You know you have to....BUCKLE UP FOR SAFETY BUCKLE UP! BUCKLE UP FOR SAFETY BUCKLE UP! BUCKLE UP FOR SAFETY BUCKLE UP FOR SAFETEYYYYYYYY....buckle up!" I yell the song as it brings old memories back to my mind.

Me and my dad use to be super close and I tend to miss it from here to there. I try not to think about as much anymore, I have enough common sense to know I won't ever feel that love from him again. I see Matt with red cheeks looking around while having the biggest smile on his face. Mission embarrass Matt was a success.

"What a beautiful song, but I don't believe in "buckling up for safety". I live life on the edge babe." He smirks. My stomach flips at his choice of words. I know he was joking but it still strums a cord inside me.

"Whatever dork. Let's ride." I speed out of the parking lot back to our neighborhood.

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