Part 9: Suffer

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Lying on the floor staring at the ceiling, Max is drained.

All his energy: gone.

Luna has stopped crying after ten minutes or so, but her sniffles and small choking sobs still fill the stale silence of the apartment. Before Max knows it, the child gets up and crawls off the couch before wobbily coming over to him and laying belly down on his chest. Her head lays sloped against his shoulder and her tiny hand pats and plays in his beard.

"Dada...."

"I'm sorry, Luna moon. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's all my fault that we're in this mess. I'm so sorry." He holds onto her and leaves tiny kisses on her head. "I...I just can't get this right. With you. With the hospital... with Helen. How do I make this work out? How do I make it so everyone is happy?"

His phone goes off and he pulls it from his pocket.

Helen.

"Hello?" He sadly answers and the phone is silent for a bit. "Hello?"

More silence.

His heart twinges in his chest.

Did she mean to call him?

Is something wrong?

He doesn't want to hang up- just in case she finds her words or something alarming is going on.

He wants to hold onto this call forever.

"Helen?" He quietly says. A small amount of hope lingers in his voice, but still nothing comes through. "I should have just told you. I...I was just so...so scared opening my heart up again. Not because you would break it...but because you would accept it and I would end up disappointing you—because that's all I ever do...and I don't ever want to disappoint you, Helen."

Just when he think he hears her about to say something, there's a click and a ended call beeping.

Why did I even think she would want to hear that?

I wish she would have at least acknowledged me. Even if it was in a negative sense.

***

Ending the call, she lays there and stares at the ceiling- wishing she hadn't called him.

She wishes she hadn't heard him say such sweet things.

She wishes she had the courage to respond, but- it wasn't in her to do so.

Knock knock knock...

"Hey..." Helen says to Daphne, who has a sad small smile on her face.

"Hi..."

"Are you, um...are you okay?" She asks as she comes over to her.

"Yes."

"I was thinking of ordering food for dinner- maybe pasta- do you still have my phone?" Helen asks and Daphne hands it to her. "Thank you...did...did you call Max?"

Looking at her screen, she notices the green call and Daphne's lip quivers.

"Huh...what'd you say?" She asks and Daphne shakes her head. "I'm not mad, but I would like to know."

"Nothing...I didn't say anything to him."

"Did he...did he say something to you?" The scared girl nods and Helen comes over to her and sits on the edge of the bed. "Well...what did he say?"

Daphne looks away.

"Sweetheart, you can tell me. I'm not going to be mad."

"You said he doesn't need us." Helen looks at her sadly. "If that's true...why did he sound so sad when he said that he doesn't ever want to disappoint you?"

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