The Morons' Club

Chapter Ten - The Return

The time passed quickly for Poobah. With Two-Ton's Mother feeding him tasty, healthy foods, he even felt he had gained some weight over the three years he had spent in his new home. Perhaps it was the cookies. The family had accepted him as one of their own. Poobah worried the guys might change his name to Three-Ton as One and Two-Ton had the first two locked up. But his friends were content with Poobah, and so was he.

Three Morons were to be part of the 1949 Waldheim graduating class. Poobah had participated and got reasonable enough grades to graduate. The thought of graduating brought back the desire to return home, a home which faded from memory for most days, but continued to haunt him during the nights when sleep eluded him amid the snoring of the Ton brothers. This scenario repeated itself most nights.

The photographer came to the school to take the graduation photo. It seemed so wrong. It was the landmark his real Mom was to attend. Instead, he had to share Two-Ton's mother. The photographer placed Poobah between Two-Ton and Fiedelbaum standing in the back row. Blondie stood on the opposite side of the teachers. The girls were seated in the front row bedecked with colorful dresses and corsages. The photographer said, "Smile." The flashbulb exploded.

The flash of light lingered and became a glare hurting Poobah's eyes. His head hurt. He suddenly realized he was lying down, curled up on the floor. The flash must have had some pop! The constant chirping of birds made him think he had been knocked out in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Then he recognized the call of White-Throated Sparrow. "Pure, Sweet, Canada, Canada, Canada," Poobah said, mimicking the bird's song. Fiedelbaum had taught him to identify the bird while building rafts for Hinz's Slough.

Poobah sat up and looked around. He was in the middle of a debris field of downed trees. He was sitting on the remains of the outhouse floor and up against the two-holer seats. His vision was blurred, and it took him a while to focus.

"Where is the graduation meal?" he muttered. "I'm hungry."

In the distance, he saw a lake. It was then that he remembered where he was. Poobah assumed the body of water was Iroquois Lake. He stumbled to his feet, felt dizzy, and sat down on the toilet bench. "What a ride!" he said as he looked back at the lake. Vaguely he remembered his visit to the distant Moron past.

Jefferson gathered his feet beneath him and began to negotiate his way over and around felled trees. Halfway to the lake, he saw his cellphone in the moss.

"I think I'm going to leave it for some future archeologist," he muttered as he walked by. As Poobah got nearer the lake, he noticed his uncle's cabin was still intact.

"I hope Mother is alright," he said to himself.

In the distance, the loon called. The sound echoed over the lake.

He opened the cabin door. Mother appeared from her curtained-off bedroom yawning. "Did you have a good hike?" she asked. "I had a great nap. I slept like a log."

"Yeah, lots of trees and rocks and rocks and trees," he said.