Morons Stories

"How can you possibly be so irredeemably stupid? Seriously, have I gotten all of the braincells in this family or what happened?!" "Fuck off and go back to your perfect life! I'm sure your Husband and kid already miss you." "For god's sake! How can you not connect the dots?" "Maybe I'm just oh soooooo stupid that you have to tell me, Assface." "You two had a one-night stand 12 years ago. The kid is 11. Do the math yourself! I'm sure you're at least capable of that!" "..... What?" AKA: Miscommunication leads to a confusing family tree. Featuring: Remus the sad idiot, Virgil the angry idiot, Roman the best friend in the world who wouldn't trade this life for anything but is still angry, Janus the other best friend who is the sole reason that Remus isn't dead or in prison yet and various supporting characters Should this sound familliar to you then you probably saw this on my ao3 account some time ago Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344707/chapters/58703464 Cover is mine Update every fourth day!

The Old Times and their curatives.

zachs in denial

I figured since so many people want to try and argue with me I might as well show people how funny it is,I censor names, don't worry

I get that we can't all be winners but that doesn't mean that we should all be losers. credits go to @elasticamerican for the title

Once upon a time, there was a magical land called Magical land. It was a magical land where idiots lived in piece and harmony. But one day, dragons came to destroy that piece and harmony, taking away everything they had. As idiots, the must rise to defeat the dragons, even if it means risking...their white undies. One word...crack...

Joshua has one clear goal in mind: Get the fuck out of this tiny-ass town. Don't get him wrong, he just moved here, a classical cliche, but the typical scenery just didn't set well with him. There is no creepy vibes, no tragic backstory, just the calm atmosphere that rubs Josh the wrong way. But its also the most noisy, idiotic, and just plain dumb people of this town that has him clawing at his brain. And now he has to somehow survive this place for another year.

Cecily Laras likes to fight.She moved to Western Europe because in Eastern Europe she had a reputation about fighting other guys.She was the strongest person in Eastern Europe.One day when she was looking for a high school she found a school website of CrystalHoll. She didn't even bother to look for more information about it.She was too busy but one thing she does know about CrystalHoll is CrystalHoll used to be an all-boy school. No girl entered to go there because it was to crazy and wild.She bumps into the most annoying and perverted boy in school, Austin Tranmer. Now Cecily has to suffer to a bunch of boys,fights and love. Four boys will fall in love with her.Who will she choose? Maybe her old 'friends' might come by and harm her new friends.Will she choose love or will she save her friends?

"Rylee! You set the boat on fire!" "Whoops, sorry."

This story is about how a team of misfits and oddballs became heroes almost all characters being OCs owned by me, the few that aren't I'll specify and put credit to them at the end of every chapter they're in

This is my rant book. I advise you to not repeat some of the things read here.

"I'd rather be alone than broken, but luckily I've got anxiety to remind me I'll always be both." Between a therapist who doesn't seem to care and a world full of morons, its not like she'll run out of stories to tell.

"In a world that can only be described as organized chaos, there is peace." A famous quote by the original UWG president, when the war between humanity and extraterrestrials supposedly ended. A quote that brought relief to the world, a sentence that let millions of families finally breathe. Once the war so-called "ended", it proved to be the very beginning. A bomb of unknown type was dropped on islands in the Pacific Ocean, leaving thousands dead, and the world in sudden havoc. Didn't the president of the United World Group say the war was over, just weeks before? As the attacks got more elaborate and closer to dangerous places, such as nuclear plants, the governments of the world stepped up, setting the goal to collect the best military in the world. Half a century later, the war is still raging, except it has been kept at bay in space, keeping earth from being a battlefield. Unorthodox battle strategies have been developed, and technology has advanced faster than anyone could have ever dreamed. Soldiers have practically been bred to fight in the war. There is one actual rarity in this society. Intelligence. Not a physical strength, but a mental strength. Intelligence is one thing Darcy has. It has definitely gotten to his head, knowing that most people can't keep up a conversation with him. It offends him greatly when he meets someone that not only can keep up a conversation with him, but argue and have actual points that make him actually rethink his point. Ender is a failing author, she's never been able to finish a single work, her passion for the particular story falters. She finds herself lacking in brains, where it is in confidence she truly lacks. When the rare moment someone riles her up enough occurs, she defends her point, and she realizes that she started an argument with the wrong person. Two people who are opposites, turn into the best of friends. Two people who are childish and rude, just may save the world we all know and love.