Random Expressions in Prose and Poetry

The Art of Listening

People love to talk about anything and everything.  We talk about what we saw, what we ate, what we heard, where we went, how we felt, what we thought, etc. etc.  Now for communication to work, it must go both ways.  There's talking and then there's listening.  Unfortunately, we seem not to do so well when it comes to listening.

It's important to note that true listening goes way beyond just hearing the words that are being said. Here are some tips on listening. 

Listen with an open mind. Listen with the intent of trying to understand what a person is conveying. This means being aware of both the verbal and non-verbal cues. It requires more than just your sense of hearing. It's listening with your heart. It's hearing, seeing, feeling, even sensing what is being expressed. It's trying to see things from the other's point of view.

Tip number 1 applies especially in cases when you don't agree with what is being said. That's when you tend to listen in order to answer or reply. You become selective on what you hear only choosing what you will include in what you want to say. You end up missing what is actually being conveyed. Remember the goal is trying to understand where the other person is coming from.

Learn to read between the lines. Oftentimes people don't actually say what they mean or they don't mean what they say. It will take some figuring out. It's balancing what is implied by the words being said and what's not being mentioned.

They say actions speak louder than words. That is so true. Sometimes people say one thing when in fact they mean another. Pay attention to see if the actions are consistent with the words. Discern what is really being conveyed by one's actions.

Don't do all the talking. A conversation means taking turns talking and listening. After you talk, give others a chance to talk while you listen. Allow others to participate. Be patient. It's an interchange so you'll have your turn to talk again.

Once you've said your piece and you've made the effort to understand others, you may find that you really don't agree with each other. That's okay too. No need to be disrespectful. This is when you can agree to disagree.

ln an era when people are so into expressing their own thoughts and feelings, we should make an effort to listen and discern what others are telling us.   By really hearing what others are saying, perhaps we can understand each other better.