Destiny Counts

explosions

☆☆☆☆☆☆
Aafrah's POV
☆☆☆☆☆☆

I turned my back at him and wanting to walk towards the car but something stopped me. It felt like a force inside my system trying to pull me back to him,to hug him and let the tears I've been holding for year to fall on his broad chest that can make any woman forget her sorrows,to accept him,to love him,to care about him,to make him happy,t...to be his and to make him MINE.

I want to be there for him during his sleepless nights, to support him when he is down and out,to be the one that he will share his sorrows and happiness with, to correct him when he is wrong,I want to change him but not for myself but for ALLAH'S sake,for him and him alone.

I can see the zeal and willingness in his eyes they held so much regret and sorrows.I want to do all these things but I can't ,i just can't .

He left so many scars in my heart,he broke my soul into so many tiny pieces,he touched my heart in a way nobody has not even my enemies. He forced me into hating him even when I didn't want to but I had no other choice. For so many years I've trying so hard to hate him and I have succeeded in doing that.I remember the nights that I spent crying my eyes out,the heartaches that he caused, I want him to feel the pain that I felt,to fell the same way and there is a saying that says "whatever you do will be done to you".

But do I really want him to suffer?

Do I really want him to feel the same way that I felt?

Do I really want to punish him?my inner voice asked.

I guess the answer is NO I don't want any of these to happen to him. Allah SWT is the most merciful,He forgives us,then why can't I forgive him?

"Astafirullah"was the only word I could utter when I heard a light sob behind me.

This time I didn't let my brain do the thinking,i let my heart do that.I turned around and ran to him he was still kneeling on the spot I left him with his head on the ground.I felt droplets of tears coming out of my eyes but I shove them away because I don't want him to see my tears .

I hate being weak in front of people,they will just try to pull you down,to make you fell miserable, to make you fell unwanted and weak.I remember when my collage counselor was lecturing about life .He asked us about the meaning of life but as you know there are some questions that when you are asked to answer them you feel you know the answer but you don't have the right words to explain them.

That is what happened in the counseling class.When we didn't reply,he went on with his lectures.

" what is life"he asked

Do we really know the real meaning of life?

Is life all about eating and drinking?

Is it all about competition?

Is it all about winning or losing?

Is life a game as people call it?

Do we get played or we play people?

"Well" he said, life is all of the above but not as we understand it.

#Life can be about eating and drinking because we can't survive without it but it is wrong to dedicate your life on it.

#Life can be about competition because you won't know what you are capable of until you challenge someone or someone challenges you but it is wrong to envy people or compete with people over everything in your life.

#Life can be about winning or losing but everybody is a winner in a way and a loser in another because you can't have everything.

#It can be a game but if you are wise,then don't play people instead let people play you because the more they play you the stronger and wiser you get.it I's true that if you know your opponent's weakness,you will be able to defeat him easily.

All what my lecturer said at the seminar was true,life is nothing but a game. You don't know when your plans will backfire you. You just have to play your cards well. I don't know if his tears are real or not but all the same,I am not melting for them,he may try every tricks but I will not budge.

Marrying Faisal will be the worse mistake ever. Yes it will be the worst and there's nothing I can doabout it.

I have to prepare myself for the life and hardship I am about to face.

Sometimes we don't meet the people we want to meet but we meet those who we need to meet. Some will love us,some will hurt us,some will share our pains while others will cause pains. Some will make us cry while others will wipe them away. But all in all,they make us who we need to be.

I will perform isthikhara,if this is what Allah wants for me then so be it,i will accept it but I will not perform my duties towards him. May Allah forgive me but I can't seem to forget what he die to me years ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short chapter, I know don't forget to
Vote or  comment.