Destiny Counts

love not?

Aafrah's POV

Irfan came back home the day he said he would but I know him too well to know that he is not happy nor excited to be back. Sometimes, he just comes home because of us,his sisters or because Dad forced him to as he told me when we had a video chat on skype few years back and i know just how much he hates it here in Abu Dhabi, he prefers staying abroad "away from the everyday drama that never ends " as he said but Abbu will never agree to that. He has allowed him to study there but after every holiday he must be home if not it will cost him dearly or he might even be withdrawn from school and be forced to study here like the rest of us.

The engagement date has been fixed and everything needed for the ceremony has been booked including the hall,food and all. As Dad told me over the phone,they will be returning on Saturday because they want to finalise everything as soon as possible,it seems like they are in a hurry get us united or something. Maybe Dad is afraid that maybe I will change my mind and cancel the wedding or runaway but that will be the last thing that I will think of doing.

I will never let my Dad down,never. I can not see him unhappy and whatever he did or does has to be for my own good and it doesn't apply only to me but to all of us because we are his children. He will never wish ill for me or my siblings because he's our dad after all. Arghhh!! Why am I thinking like this? Am I having a panic attack? Am I depressed? Maybe am just worried about the whole thing being in a rush. Maybe Dad saw something in Faisal that I fail to see.

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The remaining days of my life before my marriage, I have decided to make so much memories out of them, memories that when I remember all my sorrows will vanish and disappear into the thin air. I don't know if I will ever have a good life with him,I also don't know if I will ever fall in love with him or have a future with him and our kids. Our kids? Will I ever live to see my child? I don't love Faisal how can we start a family together?

Just thinking about it makes me feel a strong chill running through my spin,I felt disgusted. Me and Faisal together having a good life is what I call a future impossible tense, it is never going to happen not in this life or the next. But the truth I can't deny is the fact that I am spending the rest of my life with him as his WIFE!!!

I have to be by his side through thick and thin, in happiness and in sorrows,for better or worse for the rest of my life.

People say that true love comes after marriage,they say marriage unites both the heart and soul,the mind and the body. They say that it is a strong feeling that can bring fire and water together,it can turn two worst enemies into best friends. They say its power can turn the world around,it is capable of breaking the hardest stone. Is that true?

Don't get me wrong but I think love is just a four letter word that people use to cover their lustful feelings and thoughts, it's a myth,a fantasy,a legend and a story people stick to and use in order to hide and cover the desires and strong addiction they have for each other.

Can anyone love you unconditionally? Can anyone give up his life for the sake of the one that he loves? Can that happen? Can someone love me unconditionally? How silly of me to think of such things when I know that things of such do not happen in the real world . Well,it does happen but only in movies and books but it is impossible to happen in real life.

The only love I know that exists is the love families share,the love that a brother and a sister share,a father and his children and a mother and her children.