The Ecstasy of Sister Amata

10.Saturday 21st July, 2018 - evening

None of them was particularly hungry, but after a little discussion, they agreed to split the pie leftovers in three and have it cold; while Raphaela served that up and Susie laid the table, Beatrice made a quick vinaigrette and put out salad, cheese, olives and bread. They ate around her kitchen table, passing the bread, cheese and salad around as necessary, and Beatrice felt a rare moment of true companionship – one she hadn't really had since living in France: the pleasure of sharing simple but nice food with friends.

Under the table, she felt Ella's knee touch hers lightly whenever one or the other moved in their seat to pass or reach for something. She didn't try to facilitate it, and she suspected that Ella didn't either, but nonetheless when once their legs touched and there was no reason for either of them to move, neither of them did. Beatrice wondered where this new dimension to their relationship had come from, remembering the lingering hug at the station and the comfort of holding her friend, before Ella had even hinted at her possible interest in other women.

Raphaela had surprised herself at how much she still liked Bea. The newly re-found closeness of their friendship had been given an extra layer by her admission the previous night: it was helpful to admit it to someone – especially someone as accepting as Bea – because that made it easier to admit to herself. She was surprised also at how much of a relief it had been – she'd woken up that morning in a surprisingly good mood for once. The opportunity to explore a degree of low-level intimacy with Bea was good too: it helped her feel comfortable with it, because she felt comfortable with Bea. And she knew that Bea would never dream of hurting her, so she felt emboldened to try. She pushed her leg a little more firmly against Bea's, and was pleasantly surprised when Bea didn't move her leg away.

After eating and clearing the table, Susie made moves to start washing up, but Bea told her not to worry, and suggested they go back and sit in comfort. Susie brought the bottle of fancy sparkling fruit juice with her, and Bea and Ella shared out the second half of their bottle of wine.

Raphaela sat back in her corner of the sofa, legs crossed, filled with a curious feeling of pleasure at the relaxed nature of their company. She'd wondered how things would be after so many years, given they'd parted in somewhat awkward circumstances, so was more happy than she'd expected that things were so easy between them all. It boosted her confidence, as she'd been wondering all day whether to say something to Susie as well as Bea. Susie's reaction to Bea's confirmation of her sexuality helped. She ran a finger around the rim of her wineglass quickly. 'Susie? Bea and I had a long chat last night, about various things...there's something I should probably tell you.'

Beatrice glanced at Ella; Ella smiled at her quickly, as if to suggest that she knew what she was doing. Beatrice looked at Susie instead, who was carefully lying back across the small sofa and finding a good spot to rest her head on the arm.

Raphaela took a sip of wine, then rested the glass on her knee. 'I think I know why I haven't been able to settle down. Romantically.'

'Mmm?'

'I'm pretty sure I've been looking in the wrong places.'

Susie snapped her head to one side to stare hard at Ella. 'Meaning...?'

Ella held up a hand. 'It's a bit early days for labels and things, I'm still getting used to being honest about it to myself. But I'm maybe not into boys after all.'

Susie nodded, then looked at Bea for a moment. She noticed that Bea was carefully not reacting, and wondered what exactly Raffy had told her the previous night. Or whether it had just been talking...although she dismissed that thought quickly as highly unlikely. Looking at Raphaela, there was a moment as their eyes met when Susie felt the twinge of an awkward shared memory. She replied carefully. 'And you've been...er...worrying about this for a while?'