His Heavenly Sins

03 | Don't be River

Last night Milo showed me my house and I had to keep myself from exploding with joy. He said everyone gets their dream house here. It looked amazing. When I asked about his house he promised to show me his later.

After we toured my house he left and I was left alone. It was the first time all day that I've gotten to be by myself. Everything went too fast it was like I could barely breathe this entire day. Now I was lying in my bed with my thoughts. What was the point of sleeping in heaven? I've always had trouble sleeping but Milo said I won't have that problem here.

Then the thing I never thought would happen in heaven happened. A tear rolled down my cheek. I guess I haven't completely accepted that I'm dead. I wonder how my family will react. I wonder if they even know I'm dead. My friends might cry but I don't know about my family. They're the reason I got drunk that night. I had two other siblings that I love deeply. I was the oldest. My parents never really cared for me in fact, they probably hated me. That doesn't mean I hated them too. I loved them, even if they didn't love me back. Both my cheeks are stained with tears now.

I'm crying in heaven.

Is that even possible? Aren't I only supposed to be happy here? I mean it's heaven. I guess I'll have to ask Milo how that works.

God, the tears won't stop.

The night I died my I left the house after my parents finished yelling at me. I got drunk somewhere and went to where I usually go. They've always told me they wanted me to die. They'd say it so much that it just stopped affecting me. Every time we got into a fight one of them would eventually say it, but ironically enough the night I died they didn't.

I laugh a little at the irony. They've got what they've wanted but would they be the slightest bit upset? I guess I'll find out eventually. Even though they were a pain in the ass, I didn't want to die young. I wanted to fall in love, travel the world, grow old.

I wanted to live.

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Well, two days had passed and now it was officially my third day in heaven. The past two days were pretty boring. Milo didn't come for me or take me anywhere. Instead, he just called me once to check in on me. I mean it's not like he had to come to hang out with me, but I was just a little lonely. I found out that I can just type in what food I want in my kitchen and it'll appear. I've been having way too much fun with that even though you don't have to eat in heaven, but life is nothing without delicious food. Well, this is the afterlife but you get what I mean right? Oh and apparently you can watch shows that are on earth from here, my biggest fear about dying was not knowing how my shows end.

Today is also my second meeting with Argus, Valtia, and Lora. Milo said no one will be there to watch me like time. It made me a little less nervous than before but I still felt like wanting to shit my pants. Milo had kept his lips shut every time I had tried asking what the meeting was about. He also wouldn't tell me anything about the whole grey having powers situation to me. I don't know why I can't just know, what's the worst that could happen?

My doorbell rings and I rush to get it. I missed Milo, heaven was pretty lonely.

He was standing outside with the sweetest smile on his face. "So you ready?"

I close the door behind me. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Great, come on."

On the way there I bug Milo about what the meetings about but he still won't tell me. The familiar golden doors open again and I feel nauseous all over again.