Dear Dahlia // B1

[60]

Two Months Later

"Happy birthday dear Dahlia and Julie. Happy birthday to you," Dad, Tia, Carlos, Flynn, Lydia, Nick, and Tyler all sing.

"Make a wish, Lia," Tyler says, putting his hand over mine. I won't tell him that it hurts. It is usually my IV hand after all.

I smile up at him, before leaning over to Julie. I whisper my wish in her ear, "I wish that Luke could come home."

She nods before whispers her wish in my ear, "I wish you could get the hell out of here."

I laugh before we both both out the candle on each of our cupcakes. Our friends and family all clap. My dad reaches behind him and pulls out two little boxes.

"Papa," I shake my head at him. "We said no presents."

"I know," he holds up the boxes. "But they're little and they go together. Oh, and the nurse said that you are allowed one as long as it stays in your room during the day, no one else touches it, and they hold onto it at night."

I roll my eyes and take the box from him. The eye roll is partially for him as a joke and partially for the insane amount of rules in this building. I know, it's for my own health and safety as well as every one else's and all that, but it's gotten old already. I can't even use pencils to draw anymore. I'm allowed a box of crayons, with the sharpener cut out.

I wasn't put in here for a suicide attempt or attempt murder or self harm or anything, but being an "extreme schizophrenic" can end up putting you into all of those categories I suppose.

"Open it," Dad says excitedly. I smile and shake my head, Julie and I open the boxes and pull out beautiful matching bracelets. They are made of a soft, brown leather and have matching pendants on them. Dahlias.

"It's beautiful, Papa," I say.

"Thank you," Julie says. I clip hers on her wrist and she does mine for me. Its loose on my wrist, even at the smallest loop.

I notice Tyler looking at my shrinking wrists. I quickly tuck my hands against my sides. Which doesn't really help me, I've gotten to the point where my ribs are starting to become a little more prominent. It doesn't help that I'm not allowed a bra in this place, then I can feel my ribs even more.

I'm not anorexic or anything. The food here is just toxic and I can barely eat any of it half the time.

The birthday "celebrations" continue. Our sweet sixteen isn't as great as our quinceanera was last year, but that's probably due to the fact that we're celebrating in a psych ward group meeting room. And for the cherry on top, it's the one I usually have my "Spiritual Encounters Trauma" group therapy.

I start to walk toward the door, when I hand reaches out and takes hold of my arm.

"Where are you going?" Nurse Bohler asks.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I answer.

"You can't," she says plainly. "You ate less than an hour ago."

"I've gotta pee, Nina," I say quietly, looking over my shoulder at my party. They are playing some made up game with any not sharp objects the could gather up.

Nurse Bohler exhales, "I'm sorry, honey. Rules are rules."

"No, I know that," I shake my head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"Hey," she pat my arm gently, "Why don't you go have fun with your friends and family?"

"Yeah," I nod. Nurse Bohler is my favorite, hence why I asked her to supervise the party instead of Nurse Kilbot. He is mean to me. I'm not sure if it's just because he's mean, or if it's because he thinks I'm a psycho. I mean, a lot of people do, so I don't blame him.

It had been almost two months since I'd actually seen Alex and Reggie. From the second I left Julie at the house, I left the boys behind too. They never came to see me at the ward. Maybe there's some rule that ghosts can't come here.

Julie tells me she still sees them sometimes, but it's rare now that the band is on hiatus. Julie passes along messages to the boys for me, usually Alex. I'm allowed to write them letters. The nurses do watch me while I write. I know that they read them before they let me give them to Julie. That's why I use real people's names, Nick, Tyler, Lydia. Julie translates the nonsense I write so Alex and Reggie will understand and she's convinced the nurses that she's actually giving the letters to the people they're addressed to.

It's weird to feel like I've been lying to the man. Cheating the system is sort of fun.

A.N.

I told you you wouldn't like how this story was going to end...  and this is just part of it.... dun dun dun

Stay tuned!

-Redd

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