Angel

Angel LXXIII

I can't fucking sleep. For the past three hours I've been turning and twisting around on the couch, the blanket around my body all entangled within my legs.

Why did I tell him? I mean, I would have to tell him, eventually.

Gosh, why couldn't he just drop the subject? Fucking thick skull.

And the nerve to say that I don't trust him? That's the stupidest thing I've heard, I literally hate everyone who isn't him, of course I trust him!

There's no love without trust, and I love him too damn much to the point of being selfish and not letting him go, even if I should. He deserves someone who's not as fucked up as I am, carried with the burdens of life. And not just that. Lukas is a mobster, people already wonder when will he have an heir.

He can't have one with me. And everyone knows that the legacy isn't kept if there's no direct blood.

Even if adoption exists... it's not his blood running through the veins of the child.

Everything Lukas worked for... his whole empire... it would go to waste. Because of me.

Does he really think I don't trust him?

Don't I show it enough? Am I not doing enough?

Fuck, I'm so shitty with people, feelings... and all this damn relationship stuff.

Maybe what I'm doing isn't enough, maybe I'm not loving him enough for him to feel it. Maybe my way isn't enough and I need to do more.

I have to prove it to him.

Determined, I stand up and climb up the stairs, quietly opening my bedroom door. Lukas is sitting on the bed, elbows above knees, and face between his hands, his hair messier than usual.

He looks up with solemn eyes once I close the door and walk to the closet without a word.

I do trust him. I'll prove it, and if words aren't enough...

Grabbing my black bag, his belt, and a blindfold, I drop my black matching set to the ground, letting my hair free down to the middle of my back.

Stepping out, I walk in front of him, completely naked with the items in my hands. Slowly, his eyes lift to my face, then down my body, stopping at my hands.

"Angel..." He trails off, his eyes coming to mine. 

"You're convinced I don't trust you. Let me prove it." I rasp.

Standing here isn't just about sex, but the vulnerability I am and will be exposed to. This, to people like us, means a lot.

I'll be at his mercy, totally in his hand, giving my body fully to him, letting him do whatever he wants to, while I have no idea what that is.

If that isn't having complete trust in him, then I don't know...

Vulnerability is something I rarely let myself show... with this I'll be completely exposed. For him only.

He stands from the bed,  hands coming up to cup my face and have me look in his eyes. "Elektra, we don't have to. I know it's hard for you-"

"It's not. Because it's with you." I interrupt him, extending my hands further for him to take the items out of my grasp.

His hazel eyes filled with worry and passion look down at my green, determined, ones. "Are you sure?" He asks, making me nod without hesitation.

Hundred percent.

"I do trust you, Lukas." I state.

Lukas hands grab the items and he places them above the nightstand before locking his lips with mine, trailing them down my jaw and neck. Sighing I roll my head back, giving him more space to mark my skin, my arousal increasing along with my heartbeat.