The Girl In Between

falling apart

Enjoy

Use of foul language and conversation in Hindi , translation is provided below in English.

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Aahna :

Living with them in the happy bubble I had kinda forget how my life was in reality.

But it soon came back as I entre my sorry excuse of house and was welcomed by a slap on face .

My mother jerks me shaking me back and forth .

Kaha thi tum ? Kiske sath muh Kala Kara ke aarhi ho ? Batao tum bhi maa banne wali ho apni uss r@ndi behn ke jaise ?

" Where the hell were you ? Who were you slut-ing out with ? Tell me are you pregnant as well ? Just like whore of your sister who's pregnant at the age of 20 ?"

If I was shocked by the slap then now I was frozen by the news .

She's.....she pregnant ...?

She left me . She left us . She left her own blood with these not so useful parents . She never called back . She didn't asked our well being for once . She never acted as an elder sibling should and now what she's pregnant ?

Usne apna muh Kala karliya Abb tu Bata tu kisike sath -

" She had done her part of acting like a slut now tell what about-"

I cut her off by a humorless laugh .

She looks at me as if I'm crazy . Maybe I'm crazy . There's just too much that happened today .

" Slut you say mother ? Slut ? Tell me the definition of slut . Huh ! You fucking around with a guy old enough to be my brother and your son , isn't that we call whoring around ?

I adored you mother , I really did . A women so strong. You looked after us , I felt shit . I do till day that you had to have un consensual sex because you had us to feed , never had I felt so useless but after that what you did was on your  bloody conscience !

You knew what you were doing ! You knew everything fucking thing and yet you did .

Tell me the last time you acted as my mother for me or for my brothers ? News flash ! Birthing ain't parenting.

You can't be a mother if you aren't going to look after us .

I've grown up feeling an orphan and made sure my brothers don't feel that way ."

She was shocked but I wasn't done.

" Aahna , that's not the way to talk to you parents -"

" Really dad , now ? Parents ! Oh god ! I know you didn't purposely went handicapped . It wasn't your fault but did you ever fight for you family's rights ?

Did you looked at your dads eyes and said that even you have rights on his properties just as your brothers . No , you didn't because you wanted to be the ideal son , you'd rather have he's family on streets than speak for his rights to his father .

So please you are in no position to tell me the rights and wrong .

You guys haven't talked to each other in years . Your relationship is toxic . Its hard to breathe around you guys . I hate it . I would rather have you separated than be around this bullshit."

My voice quiver . I always used to see how loving my parents were . I wanted that kind of relationship.

" Did you for once sat beside me and asked me soothingly that maybe how was your day ? Where you work ? How are your Co worker ? Anything ? Hell do you guys even know I work in a bar selling wines on tables ? How I almost ran into perverts ?"

" I just want a normal family is that too much to ask for ?" I fell down on my knees . The exhaustion finally taking over .

" I didn't have anyone for me . I was all alone . Trying to hold on to every string of our family , even if it hurt me in the process. I was there but who was there for me . No friends no family no one ."

I don't know how long we were frozen in our spots but I stopped crying when the tiny hands came to wipe my face off .

" It's otau ! Didi (sister ) . I'll bectome a good dotor and feed oo gwood foot." I chuckle at his attempted vocabulary .

My hands going around him and another pair joining us .

This is what I've to live for .

Aahna , you can't give up just yet .

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Thank you
Kaajal.