“I can’t fucking take it anymore!” Adam yells. “Listen, okay. I gave you your time, because I thought you’d make a goddamn decision. I let you lead me on for the last four months, and I said fuck all to call you out on all of your bullshit, but now I need to know, Blake! I need to know, because I’m falling in love with you, and if you have no feelings for me whatsoever, then I am the one that’s gonna need some space. I’m gonna need you to fuck off and leave me alone so that-.”
Blake’s lips are on Adam’s. And Adam is completely stunned for all of about three seconds. Then he’s got his hands in Blake’s hair, tugging not-so-gently at the locks, and one of his feet planted between both of Blake’s. And then Adam’s pushing him back, all the way to the pool table, pinning him there with his arms and glad when Blake leans back to bring them to near-level height.
And then, when he’s got Blake in a situation that makes it hard to escape, then, he shoves away. He doesn’t move far, doesn’t really move at all other than to put some space between their faces. But he needs to maintain this control, keep Blake at a height closer to his own, and physically deter him from fleeing the room.
“Blake, you’ve gotta tell me what’s happening here.”
Adam looks into his eyes, can see the underlying fear that’s there. It’s kind of a little bit heartbreaking; on the one hand, Adam wants to tell him that it will all be fine eventually, et cetera, et cetera. But on the other hand, he wants to tell Shelton to man the fuck up and decide what it is that he wants.
He’s nodding though, like he understands Adam’s annoyance. Which is something.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry, okay. It’s just, I’m not gay-.”
“Don’t fuck with me, you jackass!”
“Hey, hey, wait a second. Will you let me finish?” Adam sighs, gives a small nod for Blake to continue, even if he really doesn’t like the direction this is taking. “I’m not gay, in that you’re the first person-. The first guy that I’ve ever felt anything for before. And I mean anything. But you gotta understand, that where I come from, this stuff is just isn’t…” Blake breaks off, lost for words or at least their meaning. When he looks back up to Adam, he can see the worry, the anxiety. “You realize that if my parents were still alive, they’d probably kill me!”
Adam shakes his head, and yeah, now he feels sorry for the guy. Worried about his emotions and the opinions that were held by his now-dead parents. “You’re an idiot. Okay, so maybe they wouldn’t understand it, maybe they wouldn’t talk to you for a couple of weeks. But most parents come around to the idea. Hell, mine did.” Blake looks down and shakes his head, and Adam can tell he doesn’t believe him.
He sighs, knocks Blake on the chin so that they’re looking at each other again.
“Okay. Okay. Just, tell me what you’d want. If nobody else mattered, if every single person on the planet was cool with same-sex relationships, tell me what you’d want.”
They’re staring at each other, and Adam’s finding it hard not to reach out when Blake’s eyes are as blue and innocent as they are right now. He shrugs, like it’s simple, but his eyes say otherwise.
“You.”
Adam fights hard to stop that translating into a face-cracking grin, because what Blake would want, and what Blake does want, might turn out to be two very different things. He does kiss him again though, for however brief a moment.
“You gotta give me more.”
Blake sighs, eyes closed until he opens them again a few moments later. “Can I just…can I have some time?” Adam’s ready to rip him a new one when Blake continues. “I know I said that last time, but I don’t mean four and a half months this time. Just give me the weekend, alright? I need the weekend to think things through.”
Adam nods, because he can wait a couple of days. Or he thinks he can. “Okay, but I’ve got one more thing to say.” He gestures between them. “You do realize, don’t you, that I’m not gonna ask you to come out to the whole school if you decide you want this. I’m not gonna be throwing you a coming out party or whatever. We can keep it to ourselves, until you’re more comfortable with it.”
Their eye contact lingers, and Blake nods, small smile in his eyes. “Thank you.”
Adam nods, holds his hands up, and takes one giant step back. “I mean it though, if I haven’t heard from you before Monday morning, I’m gonna throw a fit.”
Adam watches as Blake nods, then follows him through the house, and waves at the pickup truck from the doorway of the house.
