Blake does absolutely nothing after The Voice wraps. He’s got some time before he’s supposed to get back out on the road, and Luke is still staying at his place, still throwing him concerned looks far too often. If he’s honest, though, it’s nice to know that maybe someone still cares.
“Okay,” Luke says one afternoon, and Blake frowns, because that one word alone doesn’t sound too good. “This isn’t happening anymore.” Blake looks at him, and waits, because he knows what’s coming. “You love Adam, am I right?” He clears his throat, tries to look at Luke like the idea is stupid and completely outside of the realms of possibility. He already knows he’s not fooling anyone. “Right, so that’s a yes,” Luke nods, moving on. “Now that’s out in the open, are you gonna let me make a suggestion?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because-. Luke, I know you’ve got it in your head that he’s still hung up on me, but he’s not. He told me it wouldn’t happen.”
Luke laughs humorlessly, shaking his head. “You fucking idiot. He didn’t tell you that. He told you it couldn’t happen. Which means that whether this turns into a relationship or not, it’s entirely up to you. I know you don’t see it, buddy, but the ball’s in your court. You just need to decide which is more important to you; Adam, or maintaining your reputation as an entirely straight country artist in the media.” Blake says nothing. “And? Which is more important?”
Blake thinks about that. But he knows the answer really. He knows it now. He only wishes he’d known it fifteen years ago. “You know which is more important,” Blake states, because he’s fairly certain that Luke knows it just as well as he does. “I just don’t think Adam is interested.”
“So you’re not even going to try? Blake, I’ve known you a long time. And I’m telling you, whether or not you at least try may well make the difference of whether you spend your life feeling like this, or whether you spend it truly happy. You’re never gonna get over him until you know for sure.”
Blake knows he’s right. And he also knows that even if Adam point blank tells him he’s not interested any more, it would still be better than never saying anything in the first place. “So what do I do?”
“You actually want to hear it?”
*
Blake spends the next few days trawling through his iTunes library. He’s looking for songs that jump out at him, songs that convey what he wants to say but can’t. He spends another day or so on the phone to his managers, to his friends, to the record label, convincing them to let him do this, trying to get them to overcome their initial shock, and then he spends one more recording in his living room in L.A.
It’s not where he wants to be; he wants to be in Oklahoma. But Luke is here with him still, and Blake can’t quite bring himself to leave, not with Adam still here.
