Adam walks slowly to the phone that controls the intercom, looks at Blake’s face on the screen, second thoughts flashing through his head before finally buzzing him in.
He pulls open the door before Blake knows he’s there, and he looks the man up and down; he’s still absolutely huge, still wears exactly the same thing, but he’s sporting some stubble, and it suits him. Adam really wants to punch him, and Blake must sense as much.
He speaks as he notices Adam’s expression. “You gonna deck me?”
Adam takes a breath with closed eyes, and shakes his head. “No,” he admits reluctantly. “But only because I don’t consider myself to be a violent guy. I do that yoga and meditation shit now, and hitting you would be a leap in the wrong direction.”
As he opens his eyes again, Blake’s gaze is searching, and he says, “I won’t take the job if you don’t want me to.”
Adam sighs, moves out of the way. They both know this conversation isn’t nearly as simple as that makes it sound. “Get your ass into the kitchen, man.”
Adam shuts the door behind them both and then leads the way into the kitchen, pointing Blake over to the table. Adam gets them both a glass of water and joins him.
“I mean it,” Blake says. He looks nervous. Maybe even more nervous than the last time Adam had seen him. “If I had known that you were signed on, I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near that meeting.”
Adam runs a hand through his hair. This is hard. Seeing Blake is hard. Hearing his voice is hard. And making the decision as to whether Blake takes the multi-million dollar offer that he’s got on the table; that’s hard too. He knows Blake doesn’t need the money, but this show, what it means, it’s about a hell of a lot more than that. He can’t help but think that just because Blake was an asshole, it doesn’t mean Adam should be.
“Do you think we could be friends again?” Adam asks, and he can tell by the silence that the question is a surprise to Blake. Hell, it’s kind of a surprise to Adam. “I mean, don’t get me wrong; I hated you so unbelievably much for how you left things, and I’m still angrier than you’d think possible, but put all that aside for a minute, and just -.” He takes a breath, puts a stopper on every feeling he has about Blake before it comes pouring out. Then he asks, “If we did the show together, can you see a situation in which it might actually work?”
Adam watches Blake. Watches the way his face moves underneath the emotions, beneath the thought. He watches the way his face transforms slightly with every movement, and then he finds his eyes when he eventually looks up with a shrug.
“I honestly don’t know. D’you want me to be brutally honest?” Adam nods, because anything else isn’t going to help them here. Blake draws a breath. “I’m still in love with you. I think I always have been.”
“But that can’t happen,” Adam says, unfazed by the admission. It doesn’t matter, because it can’t happen; nothing’s changed that much in the world since high school, and all the reasons Blake had put an end to it are still there. Even if Adam wanted to, he couldn’t go through that again. Couldn’t have Blake, fall in love with him, and then have Blake leave him because he can’t come out to the world. That. Can. Not. Happen.
Blake hesitates a second, nods. “Right. That can’t happen. I think-. I think that if we wanted it to work even remotely, then we have to effectively treat it like another world, like we’re different people. We film the show, we talk a little in between maybe, but it ends as soon as we step out of the studio.”
Adam nods, because it kind of makes sense. “Then you should do it. You should sign up.”
Blake shakes his head. “I don’t know if-.”
“Look, as much as I would love to tell you to fuck off back to Texas or whatever, and forget that NBC even wanted you, you’re a good fit to the show. And as much as I wish I did, I’ve got no right to jeopardize the success of the show just because I hate you right now. Do it, Blake. Listen, your music is great, you’ve got the personality for it, and it would probably do the show some good to have a country artist on board. So sign up, and do the job. Just remember that outside of that room, I still don’t like you.”
Adam wants to ask him more. He wants to recount all of the years they’ve missed, and ask about Nashville, and the music, and whether Blake is dating anyone, but he doesn’t.
In fact, he tries not to think about Blake at all in the time between they all sign, and when they start shooting the blind auditions.
It doesn’t take long before he’s being inundated with interview requests though, and it’s only a matter of time before he has to take one.
Among the comments is, ‘So, it was recently revealed that yourself, Blake Shelton, Christina Augilera, and Carson Daly all attended your Senior year of high school together.’
Adam tries his best to sound like he hasn’t thought about answering this line of questioning for weeks. ‘Yeah. And it’s strange, actually. Because we were actually pretty good friends. I haven’t actually seen Blake in a very long time, but the four of us hung out outside of school and stuff, so it was good. I got to sign up to The Voice with Christina and Carson already on board, and then I got the call about Blake a few weeks later.’
He gives pretty much the same answer every time he’s asked the question, and just hopes that no one calls him out on it.
But the first day there it hits him like a freight train, and Adam finds himself thanking the gods for the fact that they’re sat at opposite sides of the studio.
The first day of shooting goes well, and the entirety of the blind auditions isn’t too bad. Nobody expects any of them to be too familiar with each other, and it’s by mutual agreement that Adam and Blake tend to stay away from each other when the cameras aren’t rolling.
Adam can’t help the lingering stare though. He absolutely hates that the thoughts even cross his mind, especially when in all likelihood, Blake is thinking of nothing but the job. Meanwhile, Adam is entertaining the thoughts of what might’ve been, the possibility that had Blake been willing, their relationship might actually have lasted everything they’ve been through since. There’s a part (a large part) of Adam still hates Blake for what he did. The other part of him doesn’t care; he just wants it all back again. But he knows that’s not possible anymore, and suppresses the very inkling.
The hardest part is the on set interviews. The interviews where they’re so often paired together, where they get the endless questions about what their relationship is like, and the ones about how strange it is for the two of them and Christina and Carson to have ended up on this together.
Carson is helpful if he’s there though; he’ll dutifully sit between them and try to handle any of the awkward questions himself, so the real challenge doesn’t come until the first live show. And that really is a challenge.
They open with a performance of Cee-Lo’s Crazy, and Adam can feel himself staring at the drum set in front of him for almost the entire thing. He’s absolutely determined not to look at Blake, and Blake seems in agreement, not looking back to him even once.
It’s then that Adam sort of reconsiders this whole arrangement of keeping their distance; if they’re both having this much trouble with it, and if Blake is truly still in love with him as he’d said, then why the fuck are they even trying to stay away from each other? But then Adam looks at Blake with the guitar in his hand, and remembers: It’s because of the music. It’s because nothing has changed, Blake will never announce it to the world, and he’ll never be comfortable with it.
The last smack to the drum kit is a hard one.
