30 | the day we ended

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And I still vividly remember the day you ended things with me..
I was laying on the ground in the dark,
too broken to even get up.

I asked you in the smallest voice,
while panic rose in my throat,
and in an almost childlike manner I whisper:
"How can you love me yesterday,
and wake up today not wanting me?"

And you answered:
"It didn't happen overnight.. it has been happening for a while.. and staying with you just makes no sense to me anymore."

And my heart plummeted to a stop for a second,
and begged to face its death,
for it would have hurt way less...
but ironically it just mercilessly kept on beating, mocking me and taunting me, as it pumped blood cold as ice through my veins.

And laughingly, I'm still here today..
But does it really mean that I'm alive when I haven't felt a single thing for months now?
Does it really mean anything at all to be breathing and warm blooded when my heart has been nothing but stone...?

-with love,

-with love,

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14-4-2021

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