Lost In Paradise || Changkyun

Part 4

When we came back to his house, I was exhausted. I had finally stopped crying, there were no more tears. But my heart was still aching. Everything was too much for me, the things I experienced was too much for me to handle...

When we entered the house, I headed directly to the room I was staying. I waited for him to stop me but he didn't. Why would he do it? I was the one who wanted to be alone after all...

I laid in the bed and pulled the duvet over my head. I don't know how much time had passed while I laid there. I was so immersed in my thoughts... I thought about him, my boyfriend, I'm ashamed to even call him like that... I thought about how he used me, how he fooled me...

When I finally got out of the bed it was already dark. I looked at the watch on the side table, it was already 21.00

I went to the bathroom and took a long hot bath. I looked into the mirror and saw my eyes. They were swollen and puffed up because of crying and I looked thinner than before. I dressed up and left the room sensing my hungry stomach. I looked around searching for him, but he wasn't there.

I heard some music coming from upstairs. I reached a room following the sound. The door was open. It was his room. I leaned on the edge of the door and looked inside. I saw him, sitting on the armchair near the window, with a glass in his hands. He was shirtless. My foot got caught on the table next the door as I stepped back, making the vase on it fall into pieces. I was petrified. It was only a few seconds later, when he came out of the room. I was holding the edge of the table with my hands, I was breaking out in a cold sweat. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't have the courage to raise my head. He said in a deep and unemotional voice,

''Vera...''

I could neither say anything nor look at him. What was I doing there? I wondered if he had noticed that I was watching him.

I felt his hand on my face and I was stripped of all my thoughts. He pulled my chin upwards forcing me to look into his eyes. I looked up and saw his deep brown eyes staring at me. The longer I looked in his eyes, the harder it was to control my breath. I felt like my heart was about to explode when he said,

''I know what you did..''

''W-what?''

My eyes widens looking questioningly at him . I was feeling so overwhelmed by emotions that I felt like I was going to pass out. I was waiting for him to scream at me and kick me out of the house.

Instead, he laughed... He laughed for minutes, while I was standing there in shock.

''You are so funny when you are scared.''

What is he thinking about ? I felt embarrassed and said ''This is not funny at all. I was about to faint. This is so cruel!''

He didn't answer me. He was still laughing when he went back to his room to dress up. I asked him what should I clean the mess with? But he just replied saying I don't need to do anything and the maids will clean it in the morning.

I asked him,

'' I shall go and prepare a dinner. Will you join me?''

''No, I'm not really hungry. Do what you want.''

I went to do downstairs heading straight to the kitchen. I wasn't the best cook, but I tried my best to prepare something worth a meal. I prepared something with the ingredients I could find. I finished my meal and washed the dishes when I heard him walk down the stairs . We were standing in the hallway when he asked,

''Look, Vera. I know It's hard for you. But you need help, and I want to help you. You gotta tell me everything. You have to trust me.''

I sighed. I knew he was right. I should have tell him...

''Okay, I will tell you.'' I said quietly and somberly.

I was going to do, I was going to tell him. That was my only way out...