You're Mine

Chapter 15 - We are all crumbling but he has already turned to dust.

My heart fell into the pit of my stomach.

I’ve never really known what it feels like to be heartbroken.  Not that I was in love with him of course. Not as a partner anyway. I loved him as a friend, but he really had fallen for me.

 And I caused this.

I made him feel so low that he harmed himself.

Heartbreak.

It’s honestly like a physical pain you feel.

Not guilt.

It’s an indescribable sickness you feel and you just want it to go away but you can’t because the deed is done.

If you asked me yesterday what depression was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you.

Ask me now and I’ll tell you that it is a feeling of severe pain worse than that of a bullet flying straight through your chest.

I feel this disgusting, overwhelming sorrow eating at me from the inside-out.

Everyone I care about is on the verge of leaving this earth.

My life is crumbling.

Calum’s life is crumbling.

Michael’s nearly non-existing life has crumbled and turned into nothing but dust.

And I can’t do anything.

None of us can because we are all so caught up in this sorrow we feel in our bodies.

We want to let go, hell Michael nearly has but you know what?

I’m not going to let all this shit in our lives stop us from being happy and moving on.

I don’t know how I’m going to do it and I am sure as hell that I may not succeed but hey, it never hurt to try aye?

I almost forgot that I was indeed still standing at the door of Calum’s bathroom with a look of both horror and sorrow plastered on my face.

He’s so lost for words.

So lost for actions.

So lost in his emotions.

So lost.

I want to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright.

I want to kiss every mark on his body until he swears not to do it again.

But instead my mind tells me to run and I try, and try and try but it’s like my legs are glued to the floor.

It’s like I’m a statue unable to move, stuck with a look of horror painted on to my lifeless face.

Calum gets up and slowly inches towards me, a single tear streaming down his face.

“Daisy....I-I”

He didn’t even finish his sentence before he burst into tears shouting out all of the feelings clouding up his brain, shouting all the things he has wanted to say to me, right into my face.

I stood in shock but I soften my expression and inch towards him, enclosing the remaining distance, and engulf him in a very well needed hug.

I know you’re probably thinking – he was cutting and all you do is give him a hug.

But it is all I could do.

I was paralysed from make any other movements.

My lips were sealed shut. I could not say a word.

He breathed in and out slowing calming down.

“Calum”

He looked at me with puppy dog eyes.

Oh god I could get lost in those eyes forever.

They gave me hope.

Why you ask?

Because when he looked at me, somewhere inside those eyes I saw happiness.

“Daisy” He said in between his crying hiccups.

“We need to make it through this and I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to make it happen”

“I hate to have you see me like this” He paused tearing up, but slowly continued “And I hate to cry and have you think I’m a sook. I know we can do this, as long as you understand that this is not your fault”

“CALUM PLEASE! THIS IS INTIRELY MY FAULT, IF I HADN’T BEEN SUCH AN IGNORANT BI-“  He cut me off with his smooth lips taking over all of my senses.

I hate to say that I didn’t enjoy it and to be honest, I didn’t want to pull away but now is definitely not the time.

“Calum, now is seriously not the time”

“I know, and I’m sorry, but having you that close to me I just couldn’t control myself”

I couldn’t help but blush.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME.

“Where were you all this time Daisy?”

“I was staying with Michael, which is why he wouldn’t come to look for me. He risked his friendship with you guys for me and I will never forget that”

“Oh my god. I should have known. He would put his life at risk for anyone of his friends, I should have at least thought it out properly before shutting him out”

Just as Calum mentioned Michael putting his life at risk, my heart stopped.

I forgot about Michael.

“Calum the main reason I came here was because I needed someone. I need to let you guys know that Michael is in hospital. They’re turning life support off soon Calum and I don’t know WHAT TO DO PLEASE WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING”

If I tell you how tempted I was to take that blade for myself you honestly would not begin to understand.

“Daisy we need to tell the others”

“But there isn’t enough time before they turn of life support, by the time we get to the hospital..”

“Okay we’ve got to go..”

“Calum you need to clean yourself up first, but I’ll be waiting in the car and I’ll make a phone call to Luke okay?”

“Okay but just be careful of what you say to him because he honestly so emotionally unstable at the moment”

“I want to go see him but a phone call is all I can manage because we need to go to Michael. I feel like a piece of shit”

“Don’t feel that way. It’s the best you can do right now, I’m sure he’ll understand”

I make my way downstairs extremely unprepared for what this phone call will bring.

I thank Mrs Hood before exiting that house and getting ready to call Luke.

I didn’t actually realised how nervous I was until I heard his voice on the other line.

“Luke?”

“Yeah, who the hell is this?”

“Luke I’m so sorry”

He paused for about five minutes before choosing to answer me.

Luke’s P.O.V.

NO FUCKING WAY.

IT’S DAISY.

SHE’S CALLING ME.

HER VOICE IT SOUNDS SO SWEET.

I missed the sound of her voice so much.

I want to see her, touch her, kiss her, tell her how much I missed her.

To be honest I think simply answering her would be a good start.\

I can’t say a thing.

Im so lost for words.

Déjà vu huh?