herophine - Trouvaille

Chapter 20

Crosby, Liverpool - England 2026

Josephine stoically stands Sofía's silence during dinner time. With Hero, she mantains a truce that could go to hell in any moment. And her phone, which she had been ignoring the past days, is burning with messages and calls from her assistant and her manager.

When they finish having dinner, with a threatening look from Hero to Sofía, the blonde girl says goodnight to Jo in the most correct and less insulting tone possible. Then, she goes upstairs and Hero follows his daughter to check she brushes her teeth and to tuck her in bed. Once they are off sight, Josephine runs away. She doesn't go too far. 

She sits on the stairs from the red main door of the house and breaks down in tears. Crying is not a bad thing, her psychologist always tells her, but it isn't productive either. It bothers her feeling this way. She is not going to give up, although it is hard to be positive.

Jo doesn't see him, until he puts a beer in front of her face. Hero sits next to her on the stairs with a another beer on his hands. They drink for a few minutes in silence. The cold and fresh air from December, helps them to clear their thoughts. 

Another message appears on her phone. She looks at the notification and discovers that it's Katherine. She ignores it, though. There are only fifteen days left for Christmas Eve and she might want to know what are her plans this year. The past three years, since Katherine discovered about Jo's depression, she had been celebrating it in Los Ángeles and in Perth again. That's why her sister might want to know where she will be spending it this year.

- How is your family? - Hero probably saw Katherine's name on the screen.

- Good... - Jo says looking at him. But right after, she looks down again. 

She starts thinking that Hero doesn't know anything about the past years of her life. However, he isn't the only one who doesn't know much about it. Although Josephine told her sister about her depression, in a moment of crisis, her sister still doesn't know about the pregnancy. Neither her parents. And if she had told them, she wouldn't have been even able to tell them what their granddaughter's name is, because she didn't know it either until just a few days ago.

- I never told them. - She suddenly says quietly. Hero looks at her in silence, even though Josephine doesn't. - I... I am afraid I will disappoint them. And they will be, when they know about Sofía.

Hero bites his tongue to not telling her that "about Sofía" can be replaced by "about abandoning my own daughter and not wanting to know anything about her for six years". Undoubtedly, he knows that her parents will be disappointed by the fact that Josephine gave up her daughter and not because she had a child. Nevertheless, even Hero still doesn't understand Jo's behaviour, he believes that it's not his business and that Josephine is the responsible one to talk to her parents about it. 

When he looks at her again, Jo is already sobbing. She knows she shouldn't expect anything from him, but she wishes that he would hug her. In all this years, mainly when she had been drinking more than she should and didn't try to deny or push the memories back, she realized that one of the things she missed the most about Hero were his hugs. Jo had always felt like home and safe in his arms. It seemed liked their height difference was the perfect pretext for her head to hide under his chin, fitting like a perfect puzzle. Being far away from him and sober, made it easier to ignore how much she missed those hugs. Now, only twenty centimeters apart, she punishes herself remembering it and she has to restrain herself from not begging him a hug. At the end, they are practically strangers, even they share a daughter.

Josephine doesn't believe she can feel worse tonight. All of a sudden, she feels Hero standing up next to her.

- Come with me. There is something that maybe comforts you. - He says before walking inside the house.

She stands up and follows him a bit insecure. Evidently, he is not refering to sex. She is one hundred percent sure. Well, maybe ninety nine percent sure that Hero is not going to suggest that. Her certainty decreases to ninety five when they start walking up the stairs to the bedrooms. Josephine is about to protest, just before she sees him entering into Sofía's bedroom and telling her with his finger to not make any noise.

Jo feels very dumb by having thought that and she is glad that Hero can't see how her face is blushed right now. A ninety nine percent of the blush is due to the embarrasment. The one percent, she doesn't dare to analyse it.

Sofía's bedroom is softly illuminated by a small lamp and the moonlight. In the bed, tucked up to her nose, Sofía sleeps. Josephine kneels beside the bed. It's the first time that she stares at her that close, because the little girl has not ever let her get any closer. The serious expression and frowned eyebrows that Sofía has, whenever Jo is near, disappear when she is asleep. It's only her, with her blonde long hair and pink lips. 

- That's Goaty. - Hero whispers with a smile while pointing to the furry and stuffed goat, which Sofía has under her arm.

Yet, Josephine doesn't hear him anymore. Because, looking at the sleepy Sofía, she feels it for the first time: the connection she never got to feel when she had her in the belly, or when she was born, or when she first met her a couple days ago.

The connection that she was lacking and made her feel empty.